Kill la Haruhi
by Bluekirby2
Summary: Haruhi has lately become obsessed with anime, and the newest being Kill la Kill. She enjoys it very much, so much to the point where she throws her, Kyon, and a few other people into the universe of Kill la Kill. Kyon has to try to find a way to restore things, but along the way, meets some interesting characters that makes the likes of what he has seen look normal.
1. Chapter 1

It was the middle of the school year, so nothing really special happened at this time of the year. This can be considered a good thing, seeing as how a certain _somebody_ always tries to make holidays such as New Years or Christmas even more of a big deal, but knowing Haruhi, she'll probably try to make something out of nothing. It is annoying, but if I don't go along with it, it'll be the end of everything, and Koizumi will keep me alive to blame me for it all. So it isn't really that bad anyways, after you get used to it.

But now that I mention it, Haruhi hasn't been up to much lately, which is strange….Well, strange for Haruhi at least. I've noticed that before class starts and in the S.O.S. Brigade room, she is reading something that I'm sure is a manga. Lately, she has been obsessed with anime. I didn't think she was into that stuff, but that is a little surprising she wasn't before, seeing all the weird crap that interests her.

Well, looks like I should be thankful nothing weird has happened in awhile. I might as well enjoy this time before, I don't know, Haruhi causes an alien invasion or something.

And as I sat down in my desk today, I saw Haruhi reading a manga, but she looked really engrossed by it. Like, I've seen her intrigued in some of the manga she has been reading lately, but today, she was on the edge of her seat….Quite literally.

"Hey Haruhi?" I asked her, unaware of the dangers that came from my mouth "What are you reading?"

Haruhi, still reading, answered "I'm reading a manga called _Kill la Kill_."

 _Kill la Kill_? Is that French or something? "Er, what is that about? It sounds interesting to say the least…."

"It's about this girl who transfers to a school called Honnojii Academy, which is ruled by this super cool girl named Satsuki Kiriyuin."

"So wait, a girl? As in, not a woman? As in, a student?"

"Well, she is around the age of a student. Anyways, the transfer student named Ryuko Matoi finds out that people have higher ranks based on their clothing…."

"Their clothing?" What the hell is Haruhi reading?

"They don't wear normal clothes though! You see, different types of clothes can grant different kinds of powers! And Ryuko wears a talking uniform named Senketsu…."

"A _talking uniform_?"

"Yeah, and it is a really good manga! Well, I think the anime is better, really."

I had to hear Haruhi ramble on about this weird anime. I didn't pay attention most of the time, but it sounds like Haruhi really looks up to this Satsuki girl. This anime series she is into sounds really weird, but hey – It's Haruhi. What else would you expect?

Haruhi stopped her rambling when class started, and you can guess during our club meeting that day, she would talk about Kill la Something all day.

"And so what we are gonna do is make Mikuru dress up as Ryuko Matoi!" I didn't pay attention to Haruhi's rambling until this very sentence came out of her mouth.

"Um…..I don't know what that is….." Mikuru's sweet, heavenly voice said.

"Well then, I'll have to show you!" Haruhi booted up the computer, and showed Mikuru an image of this character. Mikuru was severely shocked, so I decided to look over at the computer monitor to. I was in for quite surprise when I saw just how scantily clad you could possibly make an anime character.

"What the hell!? You can't make Miss Asahina dress up like…like….THAT!"

"Well I can, because I'm the club leader, so I can do what I want!"

I can't believe she's gonna make Miss Asahina do this…..I mean, I've seen strippers dress more modestly than that! How does she expect Asahina, of all people, to dress like THAT?

I'm sure Itsuki knew just how angry I was getting, because he casually glanced over at the computer monitor, and gave a "Sounds good." He then gave me a look that said "Look, if you don't go along, we're all screwed", so I sighed, and went along with it.

Oh well…...Though, on the bright side, seeing Asahina dressed up like that wouldn't look so bad…

"Its too bad that I don't have this costume today though. Oh well, I guess I can order it online."

After that little fiasco, I walked up to Mikuru and tried to comfort her. "Hey look Asahina, you really shouldn't do this…"

Mikuru, as beautiful as ever, gave me a nervous response "I…I have to. It's for the best, Kyon…"

She wasn't wrong…..If we didn't agree with Haruhi, Itsuki would probably scold me for having to deal with all the closed spaces.

Oh well, what else can you do?

I don't remember much else about that day. It was kind of a blur for me, but at the end of the day, I felt a little glad that I didn't have to deal with anything that could potentially leave the world on the brink of disaster.

As I lied down in my bed, I thought to myself "Please let tomorrow be a normal day" I thought about how Mikuru would look in her Ryuko cosplay tomorrow, and then I passed out.

…

"Kyon! Wake up! You don't want to be late for school!"

My day began how it did normally, my sister literally pulling me out of bed. However, when I woke up, I notcied my room was completely different. It was way smaller, and more run down. I ran around the house, noticing it was different – It was a run down, trashy, one-story house.

"What the hell happened when I was asleep? Did mom decide to move us to a different city in our sleep?"

"But Kyon, we've always lived here!"

Oh no.

This could only mean one thing.

I looked outside the window, and I noticed our house was on kind of on a slope. I looked up, and saw there was a large building at the peak of a hill.

"Kyon, you need to get to get ready for school!" I turned around and saw my sister holding a uniform that made my North High uniform look flashy. It was incredibly bland, being a very faded shade of blue.

Only one explanation for this.

"Hey sis, do you know what the name of that building at the top of the hill is?"

"How could I not know? That's Honnoji Academy, which you should know since it is your school!"

Freaking knew it.

Haruhi is behind this. I should have known, since I woke up.

But if I attend this school, I might as well put on my uniform, head up there, and hope I can investigate there.

…

Jeez! I thought the walk from my house to North High was bad! This is a million times worse! I don't know HOW anyone could do this every day. But right now, that should be the least of my concerns. Right now, I should focus on finding Haruhi…..Actually, know that I think about it, that might not make things any better. Who should I look for…..

I think maybe Nagato or Itsuki might be the best choice. Asahina is a time traveler, so I don't think she would have much information on what happened.

Upon my arrival at this Honnoji Academy, I gazed in awe at just how large this school is. Why would anyone build an academy this large? But that doesn't matter. Right now, I need to find either Nagato or Itsuki.

As I was running, a light suddenly landed on me. It looked like it landed on other people to, but they didn't seem blinded by it, I'm guessing that means they were used to it. I looked up at the source of the light, and…..Oh no….It can't be…...Please don't tell me…

She makes a heel click sound before she gives some kind of speech….

"Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! Those are the facts of this world! And you will all surrender to them, you pigs in human clothing!"

Okay, first of all, why is Haruhi, of all people, making this speech? I guess it figures as much. I remember she seemed like basically worshipped this character, but it seems like this role suits her perfectly.

After all the students did some kind of salute to Haruhi, this guy who was incredibly large, and looked way too old to be in High School, came out of nowhere, and started barking at us to get to class. I really didn't want to take my chances with this guy, seeing as how he looked like he was probably ten feet tall, so I decided to get to class. One thing that was really strange though was that despite me having no knowledge of this place, I somehow knew exactly where to go. Weird…

When I was in the class I'm guessing I was assigned to, I noticed just about everybody looked exactly the same, except for one person, but she was asleep. She had empty seats on both sides of her, so I sat in the one to her right.

Okay, I really need to ask myself, what the hell is going on?

But I guess I only have myself to be angry with for not seeing this coming. Haruhi was obsessing over this anime, _of course_ she would alter the world to make it like this anime! I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out.

And I don't know if it's just me, but this teacher seems kind of…I don't know exactly how to put my finger on it, but he seems a little…..off, I guess…

But I guess I had just gotten really caught up in my own thoughts, seeing as how I didn't snap back to reality…..Well, at least the reality Haruhi transferred us to…..Until someone kicked the door open. She seems to stand out from everyone else, but its probably because her uniform is completely different from what everyone else is wearing. I can't help but think she looks familiar…..

"Ah, Ryuko! I see you are tardy today."

The girl named Ryuko seemed really panicky, in an angry way. "This isn't right! Honnoji is supposed to be at the bottom of the sea, and all the life fibers were destroyed, remember!?"

I'm guessing I'm not the only one who noticed something different.

For some reason, the teacher looked like he was trying to hide something. "Er…..I don't know what you are talking about…."

"Don't give me that BS, Aikuro!" I noticed the teacher whispered something to this Ryuko character.

It would be rude of me if I didn't help, so I stood up, and caught their attention. "Look, I think I know the cause of your problem. Could we talk about this after class?"

The teacher seemed really enthusiastic about this idea. "No, I think we should now. I want you and Ryuko to follow me."

I walked towards the exit of the classroom, but I noticed the person I was sitting next to wake up.

"Wait! I want to come to!"

"Why of course, Mako!"

I don't know what kind of teacher just leaves his class, but I'm guessing this is important. Maybe this guy is an alien, time traveler, esper, or a slider. Who knows? With everything Haruhi has caused nothing can surprise me.

He led all of us into a room. He closed and locked the door behind him. "I don't think I've seen you around before. Can I ask who you are?"

I noticed his voice had changed, but I answered anyways "Call me Kyon."

"And since no one else is around, I should formally introduce myself." 

I'm not going to lie, but he looks pretty handsome with his hair slicked back and glasses off.

Wait, why are you unbuttoning your shirt?

Please don't take your shirt off.

"My name is Aikuro Mikisugi, leader of Nudist Beach!" All of a sudden, he was surrounded by sparkles, and…Wait, are his nipples glowing a bright pink?

Remember when I said nothing can surprise me? Well, it turns out I was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

**[So before you begin, I should say that this story contains spoilers for Kill la Kill. If you haven't finished Kill la Kill, I recommend you turn around and finish it now, because there is a MAJOR KLK spoiler early in here.]**

I can't believe this….I've met aliens, time travelers, espers, was transferred to an alternative universe, repeated summer I don't know HOW many times…And now THIS.

"Nudist…beach…."

"No, you gotta say it more like this: NUUUUUUUUUUDSIT, BEAAAAACH!"

Of all the things I've experienced, this DEFINITLEY takes the crazy cake.

"So, could you do some explaining?" Little did I know what I was in for.

This nudist beach guy went on a really long explanation about what might as well be the history of the world. So, in this world, clothes are made of a material called "life fibers", which are somewhat evil. And this Satsuki character Haruhi took the place of had a mother named Ragyo, who was also Ryuko's mother, tried to use these life fibers to destroy the earth. However, Satsuki knew her mother was up to no good, so she built this academy to train students to fighter against her, and they wore "goku uniforms" – I can't help but think that sounds familiar – to defend themselves. There are three different types of goku uniforms – One star, Two star, and Three star. One star uniforms are given to people who are a member of a club, Two star uniforms are given to club leaders, and Three stars are given to members of the student council. Ryuko wore a special uniform called a Kamui, which was alive, and could even talk, but only Ryuko could hear it.

This all makes sense why Haruhi transferred me to this crazy place – This world is weird, exactly what she wanted. And to top it all, she is the leader – Go figure.

The person named Mako raised her arms, and had her hands crossed, and – Wait, why do I hear the Hallelujah chorus from George Fredric Handel's _Messiah_?

"But wait!" I don't know how, but she is somehow wearing a Two star goku uniform "I can't remember most of what you said!" She then had three question-marks floating over her head "I remember Lady Haruhi has always been the leader of Honnouji Academy!" She was then dressed up in the same way Haruhi was when I saw her earlier "I don't even know who Satsuki, Ragyo, or Nui are!" I'm not even going to question how she has rainbow colored hair.

"Ummmmm….What was that?"

I saw Matoi chuckle "That's just Mako. Don't question it."

Mikisugi seemed a little confused "But how is it that me, you, and Ryuko remember what everything was like before, but not Mako?"

"That's where my explanation comes in…" Oh boy, I had to tell them everything…I had to tell them about _everything_ …..I told them about how I knew Haruhi, the S.O.S. Brigade, how she was some kind of god, all the theories about her, about Nagato, Asahina, Itsuki, how we repeated summer a million times, how I was transported to an alternative universe, how I almost died multiple times…..And most awkward of all, I had to tell them that where I'm from, they were fictional characters…..Man, this must have been how Asahina and Itsuki felt when they confessed the truth about all this to me…

"So, this Haruhi character can alter the world in any way she wants…Which is why things are the way they are?"

"That's what everyone tells me."

"And if you don't do as she says, the universe would be over as you knew it?"

"According to Itsuki, yes."

Suddenly, Mako's face lit up. "Wait, Itsuki? As in, Itsuki Koizumi?"

Wait, she knew Itsuki? "Yes, exactly! How do you know him? He could have answers!"

"Well, everyone should know him. After all, he is a member of the Eilte Four."

….What….

"Wait, a member of the Eilte Four?" Ryuko seemed like she was in a fret, but a few seconds later, said something to her uniform. If Mikisugi didn't explain that her uniform was alive, that would have looked a lot weirder than it was.

Mikisugi approached Mako in a much calmer manner. "Mako, do you know the names of the Elite Four?"

"Why of course! There is Ira Gamagori, Nonon Jakuzure, Uzu Sanageyama, and Itsuki Koizumi!"

Well that's just great. One of the ways I wanted an explanation on what exactly might have happened, and since he is a member of the Elite Four, he probably had his memory erased.

And why is he a member of Haruhi's Student Council instead of me? I mean, it's not like I care or anything, its just….Why?

"So, it seems Itsuki Koizumi is a member instead of Hoka Inumuta….What happened to him and Satsuki?"

Well, I have no freaking clue where we are going to get ANY kind of information now…Wait, of course!

"I think I know who can help us."

Mikisugi was intrigued when I spoke up "Who?"

"Remember how I told you about Yuki Nagato?"

"Yes. What makes you think she hasn't lost her memory?"

"During the time we repeated the last two weeks of our summer vacation, she didn't have her memory reset. She remembered everything, so she probably remembers everything!"

"Great!" Matoi had a smug expression on her face "Now where can we find her?"

"Well, since the Brigade doesn't exist here, that probably means that she is in the literature club…Oh no…"

"What is it?"

"Before the Brigade was 'founded', Nagato was the president of the literature club…..And based on what you said earlier, Haruhi will probably have her fight Matoi….."

"That won't be a problem for me!" Matoi looked as smug as she did before "We've taken on Ragyo, so this bitch won't be a problem at all, right Senkets!"

Well, this should be interesting…..

…

We all walked out onto the field of the school, because Matoi told us this would probably be where a club president would be. Ryuko opened the guitar case she carried on her back, and inside was what I'm guessing was the Scissor Blade.

"All right, I'm looking for Yuki Nagato, president of the literature club!"

…

 **Enter 3** **rd** **Person Narrator**

Ryuko decided to challenge Yuki Nagato, in hopes that she could get some kind of information on what was going on.

"Senkets, I'm so glad we get to do this again! I guess I should thank this Haruhi chick for doing this. I missed you…."

"I missed you to Ryuko, but I should warn you, this won't be as easy as you think." Senketsu said to Ryuko

"Why? We have a ton of experience together."

"Yes, but I don't have all the life fibers we collected together. I'm guessing this is because Haruhi reset this universe."

"Either way, we can easily take her down!"

After they had waited, the person they had challenged to a fight had finally arrived; Literature Club President Yuki Nagato. She wore a uniform similar to her North High one, but it had two stars on it. She also had her glasses on.

"Greetings. I am Yuki Nagato, president of the Literature Club." She stated blankly "I hear you have challenged me to fight you."

"Hey, where did that text come from?" Kyon asked

"Damn straight I did!"

"Very well then. Lady Haruhi would have probably requested I fight you, so I accept your request."

Ryuko pulled the on the glove she wore to transform. Aikuro and Mako didn't seem very surprised to see how scantily clad she was dressed, but Kyon's jaw dropped.

Ryuko charged at Yuki, but Yuki held her arms out.

"Literature Club Fundraising Book Printing!" She yelled blankly as she shot mass amounts of paper from the sleeves of her uniform. Ryuko tried to dodge them all, but got hit, and got a few paper cuts.

"Well thanks! Its not like I loose enough blood as it is wearing Senkets!" Ryuko said sarcastically. She tried to slash at Yuki again, but Yuki summoned a large book from the ground she used as a shield. Yuki made the large book (somehow) turn into a bunch of smaller books, and she had them surround her. Yuki then had all the books hit Ryuko.

"What are those books made out of, steel or something?"

"I don't see how that would be possible."

"You stop being a smartass with me!" Yuki used another 'Literate Club Fundraising Book Printing' attack, which Ryuko tried to dodge again. When Yuki tried to throw more books at Ryuko, Ryuko deflected them at using her Scissor Blade, and hit them back at Yuki. They couldn't tell if she was hurt or not, because her face showed absolutely no emotion, but they could tell she was getting weak.

Ryuko then ran towards Yuki, and successfully dodged the books she threw at them. When Yuki threw more papers toward them, Ryuko somehow managed to run along them, getting closer to Yuki. Ryuko then slashed at Yuki, and landed a successful hit. It did serious knock back to Yuki, and even caused her goku uniform to obliterate.

"Fiber lost!" Ryuko and Senketsu yelled.

The life fiber from Yuki's goku uniform absorbed into Senketsu.

"Life fiber acquired!" They both yelled.

While this was happening, Mako cheered for Ryuko, whereas Kyon's face was as red as a tomato after seeing Yuki in the nude.

…

 **Enter Kyon**

Well, after that fight that makes the fight Nagato and Asakura look like a something from _Super Sentai_ , we got a No-Star uniform for Nagato. That was when we decided to do some questioning.

"Nagato, you remember me, right?"

"Yes. You go by the name Kyon, but your real name is…"

"Oh, thank god you remember!" I was so glad to see someone who remembered everything, I could hug her! "Now tell me, do you know what happened?"

"Yes." Mikisugi, Matoi, and Mako gathered around to hear what Nagato had to say. "Suzumiya had become so interested in _Kill la Kill,_ that she transported herself, and other people she is familiar with to this universe. The reason me, you, Koizumi, Asahina, and others are here is because she feels they are essentials to her life."

So Asahina is here, huh? I wonder who else is here…..

"So, why is it that some of us remember what happened before Suzumiya altered reality?"

"That I do not have an answer to."

Matoi got in Nagato's face, but Nagato didn't seem bothered at all "In that case, how come you can remember all this?"

"That is because I am not what you could call a human. I am a humanoid interface, created by the Data Overmind."

Matoi and Mikisugi both seemed confused, so I might as well put it in simpler terms.

"Basically, she is an alien." Matoi understood, but Mikisugi started to smirk. I don't like where this is going….

"Wait? An alien? Does she, by any chance, have anything to do with life fibers?" I don't understand why Mikisugi is so intrigued by life fibers.

"I am not familiar with the term life fibers."

Mikisugi leaned over to me to whisper something "I think she's lying!"

"Oh please! She doesn't have any reason to lie; it isn't like she is human or anything!" My god, this guy reminds me of Taniguchi, just a little more intelligent, and has a lot more…..pride. I'm not sure why….

"For all we know, she could be some kind of product of the life fibers!"

"Don't count on it. Right now we have to focus on what we can do to return everything to normal." I then turned to Nagato "Any ideas?"

"From what it seems, I think Suzumiya wishes for somebody to fight her."

"Well, that looks like a job for me and Senketsu!"

"But it seems Suzumiya doesn't want to fight just anybody. According to my analysis, she wants to fight somebody she is feeling angry towards, and in this case, it seems like Kyon is the target of her anger."

Well, thanks a lot Nagato. Because of what you said, everyone is staring at me.

"But how is he even gonna fight her?" Matoi asked "He doesn't have a goku uniform or a kamui…."

Mikisugi's face lit up, and again, this can't be good…

"I know what we can do!" How exactly does this guys' nipples glow again? "We can find Satsuki and Hoka, and Hoka can make a kamui for him?"

Whoa there! You can't seriously expect me to dress up like Matoi did!

"There has to be another way…..right?"

"No." Nagato said in her usual emotionless tone "This is what Suzumiya wants."

Well that's just great. I have to dress up like a man whore…..

"But wait!" Mako said to get our attention "We don't even know where Satsuki and Hoka are!"

Mikisugi and Mako froze in their places.

"Oh…..Thats right…"

…

I woke up, no memory of what had happened earlier. It was really dark, and it looked like I was in the slums of a familiar place. I looked around and….No, this can't be! This place should be destroyed! I remember, it was sunk to the bottom of the ocean, and…..Where are my clothes! My god, I never would thought I would be naked again….Is this simply a dream?

I wandered around, to look for shelter. I can't remember much after that, besides I passed out.

…

I woke up again, but this time it looked like I was in somebody's house. I looked around, and saw somebody walk into the room, who was very large in size. I couldn't help but think he looked familiar.

"Hey, the patient is awake!"

I sat up, and used a blanket to cover up my body. "Who are you? And where am I?"

"Well, I'm glad you asked! I'm Dr. Barazo Mankanshoku, and this is the Mankanshoku Back-Alley Clinic! Someone carried you here, and he seemed worried about your health."

The Mankanshoku family! Of course! But why doesn't he remember me?

"Now the person who brought you in said your name was Satsuki Kiriyuin, is that correct?"

"Why, yes, that is." I wonder who brought me in…..

I then noticed Barazo turned around and looked like he was talking to somebody. "Oh, don't worry, she's fine."

"It's good the hear that." I then saw someone very familiar walk in, and he wore a no star goku uniform.

"Hoka! What are you doing here? And if you're here, where is Ira, Nonon, and Uzu?"

"That, I can't answer." His mouth was covered up by the turtle-neck of his outfit.

Well, I have no idea why I'm here, or why this place is still standing, but I do wonder who is behind all of this…..

 **[So what did you guys think? Is the plot any good? Did I do a good job portraying anyone? Leave your thoughts in the reviews]**


	3. Chapter 3

This is just great. Not only do I have to fight Haruhi and probably lose (Knowing Haruhi), but I also have to do it with most of my body exposed. I'm really not sure how Matoi manages to fight like she just did. I swear Haruhi, one of these days, I'll have to get back at you for this…..

"I mean, for all we know, the person you brought up probably doesn't even have their memory of how to make these uniforms."

"That is true." Mikisugi started to stroke his chin "We still haven't figured out what happened to the people who were discarded."

"Yeah, and what if they don't even exist anymore? I mean, for all we know, Haruhi could have completely discarded them from existence, seeing as how she and Koizumi took their places."

Mako looked like she had no idea what was going on, which I can't blame her for. "Well, I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but I'm hungry!" She pulled out a bag that was full of croquettes, which I don't know how she carries around with her, but that should probably be the least of my questions.

I really hate to sound cliché, but…."How could you be hungry at a time like this?" It didn't seem like Mako was very worried, because she started wolfing them down, and Matoi was happy to join her. Mikisugi ate a few to.

"Oh well…..I don't even think I ate breakfast this morning, so I might as well…"

Oh wow! These actually taste great! I wouldn't mind taking a few more…..

"Hey Kyon, what do you think of them!" Mako, I don't know where you came from, but try to warn me if you are going to sneak up on me like that.

"They're alright…"

"So Kyon, do you know anybody else that could possibly have an idea of what is going on?"

"I would say Koizumi, but he is a member of the Student Council…Maybe Mikuru Asahina can help us?"

"And what did she do before this S.O.S. Brigade formed?"

"Well…..She was a member of the calligraphy club…." Great, this is probably going to lead to another fight…..

"If I have to fight the president of the Calligraphy Club, that's no problem!" Matoi looked smug again. She looked at her uniform, who I'm guessing must have said something to her.

"Don't worry Senketsu, we can do this!" If I can remember correctly from Mikisugi's explanation, Senketsu requires Matoi's blood. Maybe I don't know enough, but I don't think it would be a good idea to use transform more than once a day.

Right then, the bell rang, meaning we had to get back to class. Mikisugi put his teacher disguise back on, but I was curious how much Nagato had to adjust to her new social status as a no-star. Man, this world is weird.

…

After school ended, Mako and Matoi led me to Mako's house. I wonder how crazy her family must be for Mako to end up like she is….

"Hi everyone, I'm home!" Mako said casually as she walked in to her home, which I guess she must be used to, because it was complete chaos. "And we have a new person staying here! His name is Kyon!"

The person who I'm guessing must be Mako's dad walked up to me, and shook my hand. "Welcome, Kyon! I see you met my daughter, and Ryuko!"

"Oh yeah….They're something alright….."

"And he isn't the only new person staying with us! I have a patient and somebody else temporarily staying with us!"

"Oh cool! Who are they?"

"Some people named Satsuki Kiryuin and Hoka Inumuta."

Those names sound familiar, but I can't put my name on it. However, Matoi definitely recognized those names based on her shocked reaction.

"Wait, Satsuki? Where is she right now?"

"Hey Ryuko, how do you know about my patient?"

"That doesn't matter; I just want to know about Satsuki!"

"Alright, sheesh; She's in the patient's room, where all of my patients are."

Matoi then ran to the patient's room as fast as she could, and me and Mako followed.

We arrived in the patient's room, and I was greeted by a thin looking person around my age with blue-hair and glasses. He wore a no-star uniform, but his had a turtle-neck that covered up his mouth. He was standing by a bed that the person named Satsuki was lying down on, and she was asleep. She was wearing nothing, but was covered with a blanket.

"Hoka!' Matoi yelled "Please tell me you remember me!"

The turtle-neck that covered his mouth opened. "Why of course I do, Ryuko. However, it seems nobody else remembers me or Lady Satsuki. In fact, I'm not even sure how anything is still here. The goku uniforms, Honnouji…." He exaimed Matoi, and noticed something that stood out about her. "Oh, even Senketsu is back!" His mouth was covered again.

"Yeah, same thing happened to me. I'm stuck in this world, but nobody else besides Aikuro and Senketsu have any memory of what happened only a few months ago." Hey, you know I exist, right?

"So Aikuro remembers, I see." He then looked over at me "And I see you made a new friend. Does he know about anything?"

"Yeah, I actually know a lot about your situation. I even know the cause." Inumuta then looked at me with intrigue.

"Care to explain?"

"You know how Satsuki was replaced by Haruhi Suzumiya? Well…" Oh boy, I had to repeat my explanation….Yeah, that was a lot of fun….Even worse that I had to explain Mikisugi's plan…..

Inumuta then thought for a moment. "So, Aikuro wants me to make you a kamui?"

I then let out a sigh. "Correct…"

"That seems like a good idea and all…." Hey Inumuta, stop covering your mouth mid-sentence please "But you're barking up the wrong tree. I don't make the uniforms. I simply study the life fibers. I'm guessing Aikuro just thought that maybe I could make a uniform."

Oh thank god! I don't have to run around like…THAT! However, Matoi doesn't look as relieved as me.

"Now, if you wanted someone who could possibly make a kamui, you might want to talk to Shiro Iori, assuming his memory wasn't erased."

Well, this guy probably has his memory erased, but I could care less about him. All that concerns me is that I don't have to dress like a man whore! Today is a victorious day for me!

"But what the hell are we gonna do now! Didn't that alien chick say that only you could fight her! Augh, this is such bullshit!" Careful girl, you wouldn't want to cut yourself on that edge.

"Well, Nagato didn't say that was what the case is. I'm pretty sure it was just a theory she had. You could probably take her down, and then afterwards, I could convince her why things were better the way they were."

Ryuko looked at her uniform, and then back at me. "You're right. I think this means we should collect life fibers."

"I agree. Do you think we should call her out?"

"Nah. All the clubs are after me, so I think that would be pointless. I'll use that way to collect life fibers."

Just then, I noticed Satsuki move, and she sat up. She looked up at us, and noticed us.

"…Ryuko? With Senketsu?"

Matoi's face then lit up. "Sis!" She ran up to her sister, and gave her a big hug.

"But I don't understand…..Why is Senketsu alive? Didn't he die?"

"Hi, my name is Kyon, and it's a LONG story…."

…

The next day, I arrived at Honnouji with Matoi, Mako, and Satsuki, who was now wearing a no-star uniform.

"Honnouji…I'd never thought I'd see this place again, especially as a no-star…."

"Well, I guess you know how we felt." Matoi laughed, and Satsuki chuckled a little to.

We walked out onto the field, when a bright light suddenly shone on us. I think I know what that meant…

"Matoi!" Haruhi said in a voice that probably echoed through Japan. (At least I'm not the only one who has to suffer anymore) "Who is this no-star you are traveling with!"

"You might have to be more specific. I'm traveling with three of them."

"I'm referring to the male one! I can't help but think he looks familiar!"

So Haruhi still has traces of me in my memory, huh? I find that a little odd.

"My name is Kyon."

Suddenly, this ridiculously large guy walks up to me. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO LADY HARUHI SO CASUALLY!" I didn't know his name at first, but after reading the red text that magically appeared, I learned he was Ira Gamagori, head of the Disciplinary Committee of Honnouji.

"That is of little concern, Gamagori! I am more interested in exactly what this one named Kyon is doing!"

"I'm only here to support Matoi."

"Only to support Matoi? That is such a waste of your potential!"

Did Haruhi just say I have potential?

"Potential? What the hell are you talking about?"

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK LIKE THAT AROUND LADY HARUHI!" Am I just seeing things, or was Gamagori smaller just a second ago?

"Gamagori! Calm yourself! Anyways, I sense a lot of potential in this student, despite him being a no-star!"

Well, I sure wish you had a view like this on me back in North High.

"I challenge you, Kyon!" Just then everybody, myself included and even Gamagori (Suprisingly), looked at her dumbfounded.

"Y..you can't challenge me! I'm a no-star! How am I supposed to fight!"

"Its simple!" I don't like that smirk on Haruhi's face….. "I'll have the Sewing Club make you a Three-Star…..No! A kamui! A kamui uniform! After you receive your kamui, you will fight Two-Star students, and work your way up to the Elite Four, and then to me, Haruhi Suzumiya!"

Great….I should have known there was no way I was getting myself out of this…

"But Lady Haruhi….." Gamagori spoke up. "How could you expect this no-star to do anything?"

"Gamagori! I would have expected you of all people to have more faith!"

"….My apologies, Lady Haruhi…."

"I will have you delivered a kamui, and with it, I expect you to fight wearing it!" Despite Haruhi taking up a much more serious position, she still said that in a Haruhi-ish tone, meaning this was probably all for her enjoyment.

I really don't want to do this…But if Koizumi were here, he'd tell me to go along with this…And if I say no, this could be the end of both worlds….And I wouldn't want that on my hands…..

"I accept your challenge!" Matoi, Satsuki and Mako all looked at me surprised, which I don't think they should be after my explanation.

"Good! I will have the Sewing Club work on your kamui right away!" Haruhi's backlight disappeared, and she walked away. Everyone else returned to there normal schedule afterwards.

Well, I can look on the bright side; Even if I'll be pretty much naked, at least I can beat the crap out of Haruhi. However, in order to do this, I'll have to beat up Koizumi first, and I have mixed feelings on this.

"She sure was a lot less intimidating than you sis." Matoi said to Satsuki. Maybe it's because I didn't see Satsuki when she was the head of Honnouji, but I disagree. Maybe I just have a fear of Haruhi? I dunno.

…

 **Enter 3** **rd** **Person Narrator**

Haruhi had walked into the Studentt Council Room, and was greeted by Ira Gamagori, Nonon Jakuzure, Uzu Sanageyama, and Itsuki Koizumi.

"So, I see the transfer student has a new friend that interests you, Lady Haruhi?" Nonon Jakuzure, head of the Non-Athletic Committee, said.

"I don't know why, but I can't help but think he seems familiar."

"I don't care how familiar he may be!" Gamagori said in a somewhat clam manner. "I won't tolerate his attitude!"

"I may have never met him before" Sanageyama, head of the Athletic Committee, said "But I hear he has a pretty nasty attitude, something I don't want Lady Haruhi to deal with."

Itsuki Koizumi, head of the Strategy Committee, closed the laptop he was using. "Lady Haruhi, you're sure you want to make a kamui for this student?"

"Of course I do!"

"But why?"

"Because he seems like a good challenge! And I wanna fight somebody like that!"

"Lady Haruhi, you do realize that making a kamui would take an extensive amount of work and research?"

"I don't care! I just want a good challenge!" Nonon and Itsuki did seem like Haruhi was making a decision that wasn't very well thought out, understood her orders. Itsuki then left to inform Shiro Iori that the sewing club needed to make a kamui for Kyon, and quickly.

 **[So, what did you guys think of that chapter? I just want to say, any constructive criticism I get really helps me, and I really appreciate it. So if you had anything about this chapter that bothered you, or you really liked, feel free to tell me in the reviews.]**


	4. Chapter 4

"So, let me comprehend to what you're saying; you want me to make a KAMUI?" Shiro asked in disbelief.

"Yes, that is what Lady Haruhi requests from the Sewing Club." Itsuki responded

"Koizumi, I don't know how Haruhi expects me to make a kamui. Do you know how difficult it is to make something that is made out of nothing but life-fibers?"

"You can certainly try. Think about it like this; this is when we put our research to the test. You can show how much we've learned about the life-fibers by making a kamui."

Shiro sighed. "Alright, I'll do it. But keep in mind, it may take some time. Like the old saying goes, you can't rush perfection."

"Understood." Itsuki walked out of the room, and Shiro started his work on Kyon's kamui.

…

A week had passed since Haruhi announced that I would be getting a kamui, and today would be the day that I would have it formally delivered to me. While it was cool and all that I was getting it formally delivered, I do NOT want to wear this thing.

It was in the field I was getting it delivered. Everyone was watching; The Student Council, Nagato, and I thought I saw Asahina somewhere. Ira Gamagori was holding it, and it was folded neatly. I'm gonna be honest, having it personally delivered to me by the guy who was yelling at me was pretty cool.

Haruhi's backlight shone down on us again. "This is your kamui, and he will be your new uniform. His name is Shionketsu."

Shionketsu? Well Haruhi, you must have some very bad Japanese grammar skills.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Put him on!"

"You can't seriously expect me to put him on? I'm in public!"

"LISTEN TO WHAT LADY HARUHI SAYS!" I REALLY can't wait to get back at Gamagori.

I unfolded the kamui, and saw it resembled my North High uniform. It was a bright dark shade of blue, and had a bright red tie. It looked completely normal, until I saw there were eyes on the lapel that had just opened.

"Hi, my name is Kyon. I don't want to do this either, so bare with me."

Well this was embarrassing…I had to strip down to my underwear in front of everybody, and change into Shionketsu in front of everybody. The worst part was, I'm pretty sure Asahina was watching…

"Notice that bracelet on your right hand?" Haruhi shouted

I glanced over at my right wrist, and saw I had a blue glove with a bracelet on my right hand. "Yeah, what about it?"

"You can see there is something you can pull on it. I want you to pull it!"

"You're the boss." I pulled it. I was blinded by a bright light. I don't see what's happening….Ow! Did I just feel a needle in my arm?

I can suddenly feel myself being stripped…and I had clothing on me in some parts, but most of my body felt naked.

I opened my eyes, and looked down at my body. "WHAT THE HELL!? COULD YOU HAVE GIVEN ME SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE MODEST!?"

"Oh, I see. I'm not good enough for you." Did I just hear something?

"Who said that?" I asked as I looked around to see who said that.

I then heard that same voice laugh. "Hey dumbass, ya know you look like an idiot right now. Nobody else heard that."

"Where are you? Show yourself! I'm wearing a kamui, so I could kick your ass if you wanted to!"

I heard that voice laugh again. "That would be pretty hard to do, seeing as how I am your kamui."

I then looked to my right, and saw the lapel that was Shionketsu's eye, but during that transformation sequence, the lapel more closely resembled an eye.

"Oh. I see your Shionketsu. Way to introduce yourself."

Haruhi did another heel-click. "Now, since Kyon has his kamui, any club leader can challenge him to a fight!"

That's it. I'm officially screwed.

"Oh, come on! I don't even have a weapon!" I then felt somebody tap me on the shoulder. I turned around, and saw Matoi handing me her Scissor Blade.

"Senketsu and I did some talking, and we both agree that this would be more helpful to you than to us.

I grabbed the Scissor Blade from her. "Oh, well that was convenient. Thanks."

Shionketsu laughed again. "Wow, you're terrible at flirting with girls."

"Shut up!"

Matoi chuckled. "I see you two need some time to get along."

"'Some' time is an understatement."

Matoi chuckled again. "Well, me and Senkets wish you the best of luck." She then walked away.

Well, it's probably time to face a club leader. How bad can it possibly be?

"I'll challenge him!"

Oh no….That voice sounds familiar….

I looked ahead, and saw somebody I wasn't hoping to see…

"You can call me Tsuruya! I'm the head of the Mikuru Fan Club!" She said proudly, with the adorably Asahina wearing a One-star uniform cowering behind her

The Mikuru Fan Club? I swear, this club was made specifically to take me or Matoi down.

But I do wonder, does Asahina remember me?

"Asahina!" I called out to her. She then looked at me.

"W…what do you want?" So cute!

"You remember me, right? I'm Kyon! Remember North High and the S.O.S Brigade?"

"I don't know what you're talking about….." Of course she doesn't.

"Kyon just can't get a date, can he?" Shionketsu said.

"Quiet you!"

"Hey!" Tsuruya shouted "I won't allow you to talk to Haruhi unless you defeat me!"

"Well, looks like we should settle this.

"Okay Shionketsu, you have to work with me? Understand?"

"Well what if I don't wanna?"

"That doesn't matter. You have to do what I say. Okay?"

"Whatever."

"Okay, lets go!" Tsuruya shouted again "Mikuru plushie bombardment!"

Just then, Tsuruya bombarded me with plushie based on Asahina. You'd think they'd be soft, but damn! Those things felt like rocks! I tried to dodge them, but since I was new at this, you can guess I got hit multiple times.

"Shionketsu, what can you do?"

"I ain't telling you."

Well, if you're going to be difficult, I guess I'll have to pull both of our weight. I ran up to Tsuruya to try to slash at her, but she pulled a pillow out of nowhere to deflect my attack. Apparently, the pillow was a body pillow of Miss Asahina, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want one.

Tsuruya then hurled the pillow at me, which also hurt. She bombarded me with more Mikuru plushies, and I kept getting hit until I deflected them with the Scissor Blade. They hit Tsuruya, and it knocked her on her back.

With her being vulnerable, I jumped at her, and slashed her with the Scissor Blade. The Scissor Blade destroyed her goku uniform, leaving her nude, which I glanced away at.

I couldn't help but yell "Fiber lost!" As I said that, I saw a life-fiber that was once apart of her goku uniform absorb into Shionketsu.

"Fiber acquired!" I don't know why, but that felt satisfying to say.

Shionketsu transformed back to his default state, and then I walked up to Asahina. "Since you don't remember, I'm going to have to explain."

"Explain what….?" Oh Asahina, you're so cute when you're confused!

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on either." Oh right, I kind of forget Shionketsu was just given to me, so I should probably explain to him.

Just then, Matoi, Mako, Satsuki, Inumuta, and Nagato walked up to us.

"Please, allow me to explain." Nagato said. I'm sure she'll do a better job at this than me.

…

"That's crazy. You don't expect me to believe that BS." I think Shionketsu would be better for Matoi than me.

"You're a talking uniform. Do I really need to say more?"

"I don't think I quite believe it…" Asahina said

"I have proof. Asahina, you might want to check for a star-shaped mole on your chest."

She nervously did as I said, and was shocked to see it. "Wha….But how did you know?"

I then grinned. "Classified information."

"Probably because you were peeking at her while she was changing." Shionketsu followed with a chuckle.

"Would you shut up!" I bet I looked like an idiot, because Asahina gave me a very dumbfounded look. Everybody else laughed, and I could see why they were, and even I joined in on the laughter.

Aikuro, not in his disguise, walked up to me with someone I haven't seen before.

"Kyon, I'd like to introduce you to a co-agent of mine, Tsumugu Kinagase."

"Hello there, my name is Kyon. How do you do?" I held my hand out to shake his hand, but he gave me a disgusted look.

"Another kamui user, huh?"

"…..Do you have something against me because of that?"

"Let me give you two pieces of information; Firstly, I don't trust anything made of life-fibers. Secondly, I don't trust kamuis."

A little redundant, wouldn't you say?

"And why?"

"I'll never forgive what they did to my sister…."

I then looked at Mikisugi. "Was his memory erased to?"

"Unfortunately so. I explained to him what happened, but I'm not sure if he will truly regain it unless we can change both universes back to normal."

But I do wonder; why is it that Haruhi has traces of me in her mind, but Asahina doesn't? Nagato remembers because she isn't a human, and I'll have to see about Koizumi. Hopefully, I can get something out of him, but I shouldn't get my hopes up.

"So, are you saying we might be able to restore everyone's memories?"

"I can't say if we can, but I'm hoping so."

If only Koizumi was here to help me…..I guess you don't realize how much you appreciate something until it's gone…

"Aikuro, was it really a good idea to give this student a kamui?" Kinagase asked

"It wasn't my idea. Apparently, if he doesn't, this universe will explode."

"I think you should have given him a Dotonbori Robo….."

"It's called a DTR!" Mikisugi seemed a little too upset by the name Dotonbori Robo.

"….Anyways, don't you think that would be a better idea? They can destroy life-fibers."

"It isn't that simple, as much as I'd love to make Kyon a custom DTR. This Suzumiya character wants Kyon to wear a kamui, so he has to wear a kamui."

A DTR, huh? Whatever it is, it can't be as embarrassing as wearing Shionketsu.

Speaking of Shionketsu, I wonder…

"Hey, Shionketsu, what was with the pain in my arm when you transformed?"

"Oh yeah, that. Thing is, ya can't just get power like that for free; it comes with a price ya know."

"Like what?"

"Whenever I transform, I require some of your blood. That pain in your arm was me feeding off of your blood."

Well this sucks. Not only do I have to dress like a male stripper in order to be more powerful, AND deal with a uniform who doesn't want to listen, it also drinks my blood. I might as well be making frequent visits to the blood-drives Dracula makes, because at least then I won't have to deal with Shionketsu.

 **[So that was Chapter 4. What do you think of Shionketsu? Good/Bad character so far? As always, your reviews are greatly appreciated, and the one review I wrote I really appreciate.]**


	5. Chapter 5

It was two days after I received Shionketsu. I arrived at the Mankanshoku household to meet with Matoi and Satsuki.

"Hey Kyon, could I tell you something about Shionketsu?" Matoi asked me.

"Shoot."

"You two don't seem very….synchronized….I mean, when you transform, you're in true synchronization, but you two don't seem to cooperate very well."

"Well it isn't my fault. He refuses to listen to me."

"Can you blame me? I have to be worn by a loser like you!" Shionketsu said to me.

"Shut up!"

"See, that's exactly what I mean. I think you two should try to bond together."

"How exactly would we do that?"

"I'm not sure…Me and Senkets really didn't have much of a choice."

"As with me and Junketsu." Satsuki said.

"Junketsu? Isn't that the uniform Haruhi is wearing?"

"Correct. Of course, he was once my uniform, but we didn't share the same bond that Ryuko and Senketsu did."

"If that's the case, couldn't me and Shionketsu do perfectly fine without bonding?"

"Thing is, it seems like Shionketsu is completely defiant, even after feeding off your blood. Satsuki said that Junketsu would listen only because he would feed off of her blood. You might need more of a motivation for Shionketsu."

Well, I'm not sure how, but I need to get along better with Shionketsu. I don't know how, but I'm going to have to get it done somehow. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss North High and the S.O.S. Brigade.

Mako suddenly grabbed Matoi by the wrist. "Come on Ryuko! We're gonna be late for school!"

So me, Satsuki, and Inumuta all followed Mako and Matoi to Honnouji Academy.

…

I arrived in the court of Honnouji, knowing the inevitable would happen; somebody, although I don't know who, is going to challenge me, and sure enough, I was right.

"My name is Takaharu Fukuroda, president of the Boxing Club, and I'm here to challenge you!"

"Yeah yeah, I know. Come on Shionketsu, lets get this over with."

"I don't feel like it."

"And I don't care. Now come on!"

I pulled the thing on my wrist, and then….

Nothing happened.

"Errr, hold on for a moment." I kept pulling it, but nothing was happening. What the hell?

I then looked down at Shionketsu. "What's going on?"

"I told ya. I don't feel like it."

"Shionketsu! If you don't transform, we're going to get our asses kicked!"

"Correction; YOU are gonna get your ass kicked."

"Damn it Shionketsu!"

Ugh, why won't you listen for once!? I swear, you're worse than Haruhi!

I kept pulling on it, but nothing would happen. Shionketsu kept laughing, until I got punched in the gut by Fukuroda.

"Owwww…."

Fukuroda was laughing like crazy, but Shionketsu wasn't.

I got back up on my feet, but kept getting punched by Fukuroda.

"Kyon, you idiot! If you don't surrender, we're both gonna get killed!"

"Not if I fight back!" I tried to slash with the Scissor Blade, but was again punched to the ground by Fukuroda.

"Kyon, ya need to surrender! I can't take this much pain!"

"I can't give up! I need to restore things to the way they were!"

I heard Shionketsu sigh. "Fine. I'll cooperate, this once."

"Good boy." I pulled the switch on my wrist, and this time, Shionketsu actually transformed. (What a miracle!)

"Life-fiber synchronization – Kamui Shionketsu!"

"Oh come on!" Fukuroda cried "I can't focus with you dressed like that! You look so stupid!"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Trust me, I don't want to be dressed like this either. How about this; to make things fair, I'll let you get the first move."

"Okay!" He lunged at me with his fist, but it did nothing.

"What the hell?" Fukuroda started punching me rapidly, but his attacks did nothing.

"Now it's my turn!" Because he was so close, I slashed at him with the Scissor Blade, and I destroyed his goku uniform, knocking him back.

"Fiber lost!" I wasn't alone when I said that; Shionketsu said it in synch with me.

"Fiber acquired!" Again, Shionketsu said that in synch with me. I smiled hearing that.

Shionketsu transformed back to his default state, and Matoi ran up to me.

"Kyon! Are you alright?"

"Don't worry Matoi. We had a difficult time at first, but we managed to pull through."

"Don't except me to do it again, though…." Shionketsu said. I laughed, and Matoi looked at me as if I was crazy.

"It was something Shionketsu said. I'm sure you understand."

…

A week had passed, and me and Shionketsu had gotten the hang of fighting people. We had gained quite a lot of life-fibers from doing so, so we grew stronger.

Currently, I'm fighting this guy named Jack Naito, president of the Knife Throwing Club. I deflected the knives he threw at me with Matoi's Scissor Blade, and while doing so, I heard Mako shouting "You can do it Kyon!"

However, I was deflecting the knives a bit too much, so (Somehow) the Scissor Blade was knocked back very far when it got hit by a larger knife. I could run over to reach it, but it's too far away….

"Not so tough without the over-sized scissor, are you Kyon?" Naito threw a larger knife at me. I panicked a bit, and right as the knife was about to hit me, my right arm moved, and a long blade appeared from the cuff of Shionketsu, and deflected it.

Where did this blade come from? Should I really question it, because it just saved me, and I have a weapon of my own, so I don't have to borrow the Scissor Blade anymore. Now, let's see how it can deal with life fibers…

"Hey Jack! How would you like a taste of your own medicine?"

Jack tried frantically throwing more knives at me, but I deflected them all. I slashed at him, and destroyed his goku uniform.

"Fiber lost!" By now, this was something me and Shionketsu said together without it being out of place.

"Life-fiber acquired!" The life-fibers from Jack's goku uniform was absorbed intro Shionketsu.

The blade then disappeared. "A deployable arm blade? Nice."

"Ah, I only used it because you're too pathetic on your own, not because I like you."

"If you didn't like me, then you would have let me lose."

"Wh….no!" I laughed, and then Shionketsu transformed to his default state. Mako and Matoi ran up to me.

"Way to go Kyon!" She was jumping up and down, and I told her to calm down.

"You did a good job Kyon." Matoi then patted me on the shoulder.

"Thanks Ryuko…..Err, I mean, Matoi!"

"Please. Call me Ryuko." She then smiled "Oh yeah, I forgot; What's your real name?"

"My name is…"

I was interrupted by Mako crossing her arms, and I heard that familiar "Hallelujah" noise.

"WAIT!" Mako was then wearing a hard hat, and held a stop sign.

"Kyon has battled enough club leaders, right?" She said dressed in a Two-Star uniform.

"Because if so, he can fight the Elite Four!" This time, she looked like she had died, and her ghost said that.

"And he has gotten along very well with Shionketsu!" Mako was sprinkling salt on French fries.

"And then Kyon can take down Lady Haruhi!" Mako looked like she was doing the Hare Hare Yukai.

"Wow, you're right Mako." I can't believe she was right; I think I HAVE fought enough club leaders to take on the Elite Four. I think I have a few more to go.

"Though, let me warn you." Ryuko said. "They aren't easy. I had a hard time taking them down, and they won't go easy on you."

"I kind of figured, them being called the 'Elite' Four. But nonetheless, I'm sure me and Shionketsu can beat them!"

"Ah, you can only do it because of me!" Shionketsu said.

"Oh Shionketsu, you're the same as always."

"I think you should talk to Satsuki and Hoka. They might know their battle strategies really well, so they could be great help."

"Alright, I'll be sure to do that."

"We'll also be sure to tell any member of the Elite Four what happened, and maybe we can restore their memory."

"Alright, sounds like a plan!"

…

A few days had passed, and I had defeated enough club leaders to battle the Elite Four. I'd thought I'd let Haruhi know today…

I arrived at Honnouji in the court. "HARUHI SUZUMIYA!"

Haruhi's backlight shone on me again. "What is it you want!?"

"I have defeated enough Two-star students! I request that I battle the Elite Four!"

The Elite Four members were also watching. "You can't be serious?" Jakuzure said. "How the hell did he actually beat the Two-stars!?"

"I guess we shouldn't have underestimated him." Koizumi said.

"Don't worry. I don't think Lady Haruhi will accept." Sanageyama said.

"I ACCEPT YOUR REQUEST!" Haruhi shouted in a voice that out-thundered everything else she said.

"WHAT!?" Jakuzure and Sanageyama shouted.

"IT'S LADY HARUHI'S DECISION, AND THAT'S FINAL!" Gamagori shouted.

"Quite frankly, I'm not surprised." Koizumi said.

"Tomorrow, you will face off against the Elite Four! If you succeed in defeating them, you will get to face me in battle!"

Oh boy, this moment is finally here. I finally get to fight Haruhi…

"Hey Kyon, you're body seems to be shaking nervously."

"I guess I'm just very excited to finally do this…."

Tomorrow…Not a lot of preparation until then…But I'm not too worried. Hoka and Satsuki told me about their attack strategy. But I am a little worried this won't go very well….

…

It was the next day, and I arrived at the Mankanshoku household. I saw Mrs. Mankanshoku making tons of croquettes, and she gave me a lot.

"I heard about what's happening today, so I decided to make these croquettes extra special!"

"Gee, thanks Mrs. Mankanshoku." I gladly proceeded to eat them.

"Now Kyon, you remember what their battle strategies were?" Satsuki asked me.

"Yes, I do."

"Could you discuss them with us one more time?" Hoka asked before his mouth was covered up.

"Certainly."

…

We arrived at Honnouji, and man, was I really nervous. I was standing on a large platform that had screens that projected what was going on, on the sides of it. I looked into the audience, and I saw Ryuko, Mako, Satsuki, Hoka, Mikisugi, Asahina, and my sister all cheering for me. Nagato was there to, but she just stared blankly, as expected.

"Now, because you are the guest, I'll be kind and let you choose who you face first!" Haruhi shouted, which I found baffling. Haruhi almost never gives me any say in what I do, so this is a nice change of pace.

I looked at the Elite Four members, and saw my options; Ira Gamagori, Nonon Jakuzure, Uzu Sanageyama, and Itsuki Koizumi. I looked at each one, and thought deeply about who I should fight.

And although I'm not quite sure about who I'll fight first, I don't think I want to fight Koizumi first, probably because I know him very well.

"Hey dumbass, have you decided who you want to fight already?"

"Sure have." I said.

"Well, who is it?"

Just then, Haruhi spoke up. "Well, hurry up! Who is it?"

I looked directly at Haruhi. "I have decided who I want to fight first!"

"Who is it?"

I'm a little intimidated, but I know I can take this person on. Me and Shionketsu have been through a lot together in a little over a week, so I'm not afraid!

 **[So that was Chapter 5. Yeah, I decided to end it on a cliffhanger, because why not? Thanks to Lewascan2 for the idea of deployable arm blades, although I'll be sure to come up with a new idea for one of Shionketsu's attacks. If anyone wants to guess who they think Kyon will fight first, leave it in the reviews. And again, any reviews are greatly appreciated, so please leave your thoughts in the reviews. ]**


	6. Chapter 6

"Well Kyon, who will it be?"

I kept hearing Haruhi asking that a lot. I lifted my arm, and pointed to who I wanted to challenge, leaving the audience surprised.

"I choose Ira Gamagori as my first challenge!"

Haruhi gave me a terrifying smirk. "Very well then. Gamagori!"

"With pleasure, Lady Haruhi!"

Gamagori walked onto the battlefield, but seemed a little shorter than the last time I saw him. Instead of looking 9 feet, he looked like he was almost 7 feet. A little weird. Maybe his goku uniform grants him that power?

"I won't let you get to Lady Haruhi, no star!"

I really don't see how anybody could follow Haruhi like this guy does.

"If you say so. Now, aren't you gonna do something?"

"Right. Lets get this started!" I was then blinded by another bright light, which I'm sure meant that he was doing some kind of transformation. After the light faded away, I saw that he had completely changed his appearance.

"Three-Star goku uniform: Shackle Regalia!" Gamagori looked like he was mummified. A little intimidating, but nothing I can't do.

"You ready, Shionketsu?"

"Yeah, whatever."

I pulled the thing, then we did our transformation thing.

"Life-fiber synchronization: Kamui Shionketsu!"

"Battle, begin!" I heard Haruhi yell.

Shionketsu pulled out his deployable arm-blade. "Now Shionketsu, do you remember out strategy for Gamagori?"

"Yeah. We need to not do anything for this first part, because it will only be ugly if we do."

"Good boy."

We just stood on the battlefield for awhile. I could see Haruhi was looking very frustrated.

"This is so boring! Could somebody do something exciting?"

"Yes, Lady Haruhi." Gamagori said, and followed with a sinister sounding laugh. I remember this – Satsuki said that if I didn't attack, he would attack himself.

"Self-Flagellation!" Suddenly, the whips on his uniform started to whip him, which seemed really suggestive.

"Punish me more!" He said in a questionable tone.

I heard Shionketsu giggle at that.

"Oh, grow up." I said to him.

"Scourge Regalia!" He then unleashed a larger whip – Which was questionably shaped – and I tried to dodge it, but was hit. He transformed into something that reminded me of a character from some American comics – Too bad I can't remember his name. I think it was Metal Man or Steel Man? I don't know.

Anyways, that's off-topic. He transformed back into Shackle Regalia. "So, you know what we are supposed to do, right?"

"I think we need to penetrate his defenses while he's in Shackle Regalia." Shionketsu followed that sentence with another giggle.

I rolled my eyes. "You are so immature. Now foucs!"

"Do you think my arm-blade could penetrate his forces?"

"I heard that Matoi's Scissor Blade couldn't but your arm-blade is made out of a different material than the Scissor Blade. I guess it's worth a shot."

I then charged straight for Gamagori with what would either help me succeed, or help me lose faster.

Meanwhile, in the audience, Hoka, Satsuki, and Ryuko were all analyzing my battle.

"Why is he charging at Ira with Shionketsu's arm-blade? I thought you guys told him not to do that!" Ryuko said.

"We did, but Shionketsu's arm-blade is made out of a different material than your Scissor Blade." Hoka pointed out. "This is simply trial and error. There is a chance this could work, or not."

"It better work." Ryuko said.

"Go Kyon!" Mako and Asahina said, although Asahina seemed less enthusiastic.

I hit Gamagori with Shionketsu's arm blade, but it didn't really do much, even though I hit really hard.

"Ah, crap!" I said before Gamagori released another suggestively shaped whip with Scourge Regalia. I didn't have time to dodge this one, so it hit me.

"Thanks dumbass." Shionketsu said to me.

"I was experimenting, okay?"

Gamagori returned to Shackle Regalia. While I thought about what to do, he shouted "Self-Flagellation!", and proceeded to whip himself.

"Oh yes, I've been a REALLY bad boy!"

Shionketsu was giggling, and tried not to burst out into laughter.

"Hey! Focus!" While I told him to shut up, I was hit by another attack from the Scourge Regalia.

He then returned to Shackle Regalia.

"Why can't my arm-blade hit him?"

"If you would have paid attention, you would know that the armor from Shackle Regalia is made from something other than life-fibers, and whatever it's made of, your arm-blade can't affect him."

"That's dumb."

Gamagori is really tricky to take down. How am I supposed to attack him when he has great defenses? What did Satsuki say….That's it! I remember!

"Shionketsu! I have an idea!"

"What is it?"

"You'll see. We need to wait."

Shionketsu sighed.

"Self-Flagellation!" Gamagori yelled again. He whipped himself again. "Yes! Punish me more! I DESERVE IT!"

"Don't even think about it." I said to Shionketsu.

"So, I'm guessing this is apart of your plan?"

"Yes, it is."

"Scourge Regalia!" He unleashed multiple large whips. When one of the whips was about to hit me, I jumped on it, and ran towards Gamagori.

"A wise strategy." Hoka said in the audience. "Attacking Gamagori in his offensive state when his defense is low."

"Yeah, Kyon's got this!" Mako said energetically.

I then rapidly hit Gamagori with Shionketsu's arm-blade. I could tell he was taking damage from it, but he transformed back into Shackle Regalia.

"Looks like I found your weak spot, huh Gamagori?"

"QUEIT YOU!" Gamagori yelled. "I refuse to let myself lose to a no star! You aren't even using a goku uniform!"

"Hey, doesn't Haruhi wear a kamui?" I smirked after saying that, and I think I really pissed off Gamagori.

"YOU NO STAR! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS! SELF-FLAGELLATION!" When he whipped himself, he whipped himself a LOT more furiously. "YES! YES! YES! I'VE BEEN **REALLY** BAD!"

"Now remember, we repeat out same strategy as before."

"Got it!" It sure feels nice to have Shionketsu listen.

"Scourge Regalia!" Gamagori unleashed more whips, which were more difficult to dodge. I did jump on one, but it still got hit by some of the whips.

When I got close enough, I rapidly slashed at Gamagori with Shionketsu's arm-blade. However, Gamgori did something I can't believe he didn't do earlier; he grabbed me, and threw me. It sure did hurt, and when I looked back at him, he was using another Self-Flagellation.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU'RE BAD ATTITUDE! I WILL DISCIPILINE MYSELF TO ANY EXTENT FOR LADY HARUHI!"

"Hey Kyon, I'm not sure if this same strategy will work."

"Well, we'll just have to keep doing this until one of us comes up with something better."

"Scourge Regalia!" He released more questionably shaped whips, and I had to repeat the same strategy. I kept attacking him, but he punched me.

Now, normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but keep in mind, I'm fighting Gamagori, who has fists bigger than Mikuru's…..you know, never mind….

"Oh, wait! I have an idea!" Shionketsu said.

"What is it?"

"Ryuko said that Senketsu can transform mid-battle, right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Surely, I should be able to do the same thing!"

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"Ummmm….Hold on…"

Shionketsu was trying to focus, but I was panicking because Gamagori was whipping himself, and he could release another whip at time.

"Hey Shionketsu, any minute now!"

"Hold on….."

"Scourge Regalia!" I was about to get hit with another whip, so I flinched. However, I didn't get hit, as I noticed something blocked it. I opened my eyes, and saw Shionketsu's arm-blade had become the head of a mallet.

"Like it? It should be able to pierce Gamagori's defenses."

"It looks cool, but does it have a name?"

"How about…..um….Shionketsu Kanadzuchi?"

"Works for me. Now lets go kick some ass!"

"Self-Flagellation!" Gamagori said as he whipped himself.

As he did that, I attacked him with Shionketsu's hammer (?), and it greatly pierced Shackle Regalia. He transformed into Scourge Regalia, but his attack was much weaker.

"You'll pay for this! Self-Flagellation!" He furiously whipped himself again.

"Didn't you learn anything?" I then hit him again, and then slashed at him with Shionketsu's arm blade, and destroyed his goku uniform.

"YEAH KYON!" I heard Mako screaming.

"Fiber lost!" The life fiber from Gamagori's goku uniform flew close to me, and absorbed into Shionketsu.

"Fiber acquired!"

"WHAT!? NO! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Haruhi shouted. I was really annoyed with it, but I'm used to it with all of her shenanigans I've had to put up with.

"It's completely fair."

"WELL DON'T THINK YOU'VE WON YET! YOU STILL HAVE TO FIGHT THREE OTHER ELITE FOUR MEMEBERS!"

She is right. I shouldn't celebrate yet, because I still have to fight three more members, but after Gamagori, I don't think I'll have to deal with anything more challenging.

"I'll let you choose the next challenger to. Your choices are Uzu Sanageyama, Nonon Jakuzure, and Itsuki Koizumi!"

Now, who am I going to fight now? I'm not to keen on fighting Koizumi, so I'll hold off on that one, meaning my choices are Sanageyama or Jakuzure.

The question is, who?

"Shionketsu, I'll let you decide this one."

"Wait, really?"

"Yep. You did a great job helping me, so I'll let you decide."

"Well, I didn't think this would happen. How about….."

Well Shionketsu, I hope whoever you choose, we can work together to beat them.

 **[Yeah, so another cliffhanger ending. I think now would be a good time for a confession; I haven't decided who Kyon is going to fight next yet. So how about this; if I get a review before I start on Chapter 7 giving me a suggestion, I'll go with that suggestion, and I'll give you credit at the end of the chapter. Also, a note to aspiring fanfiction writers who are fans of Kill la Kill, at scenes like when Kyon defeated Gamagori, I recommend listening to _Before My Body Is Dry,_ ESPECIALLY the chorus version. The chorus version is a lot more intense, so I recommend it over the original. So anyways, if you have anything you'd like to tell me, leave your praises/complaints in the reviews.] **


	7. Chapter 7

"So Shionketsu, who are you going to choose?"

"Well….That pink-haired girl looks cute….I wouldn't mind if she wore me….."

"Shut up!" I snapped to Shionketsu. I then looked up to face Haruhi. "I want to challenge Nonon Jakuzure!"

"Alrigthy then! Jakuzure, you know what to do!"

Rather than walking down to the battlefield, Jakuzure led a marching band down to it. I guess she wants to make a flashy appearance. I bet she gets along great with Haruhi…..

And unlike Gamagori and Koizumi, I've never actually interacted with this person, so I'm not sure what exactly what to expect from her personality.

"So, another no star student who Lady Haruhi takes interest in? You seem even less significant than the transfer."

Wow. I feel like I'm talking to Haruhi's twin sister.

"Look, let's get this over with, okay? Don't you have a transformation or something?"

"Wow, you sure are sassy." Oh, like you're one to talk.

There was another bright light coming from Jakuzure. "Three-star goku uniform: Symphony Regalia Grave!" Although her uniform didn't change too drastically like Gamagori, she was riding in a giant tank, which seemed intimidating.

"Well Shionketsu, I hope we can do this. I can't believe I'm saying this, but her uniform seems more intimidating than Gamagori's."

"I dunno about that…She's a little too cute for me….."

Meanwhile in the audience, Gamagori, wearing nothing but his undergarments, sat down next to the no star students, and Asahina.

"Gamagori? What are you doing here?" Mako asked.

"Since I've been demoted to a no star, I found it appropriate to sit here." Gamagori said with shame. He then looked over at Satsuki and Hoka. "I've never seen these two students before. Who are they?"

"Gamagori, you don't remember?" Hoka said. "I'm Hoka Inumuta, and this is Satsuki Kiryuin, or Lady Satsuki."

"THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON I WILL ADRESS AS LADY, AND THAT IS LADY HARUHI!' Gamagori yelled as he grew to about 15 feet.

"I think we should do some explaining." Satsuki said.

…

"So you're saying that Honnouji Academy is supposed to be destroyed, and Satsuki was the ruler, and not Haruhi?"

"Does any of this ring a bell?" Hoka asked.

"To be honest, no, and I don't think I can believe you."

"Really? Because I know something only a member of the Student Council would know." Hoka said. He leaned over to Gamagori to whisper it in his ear, and Gamagori's face blush a very bright red.

"ALRIGHT, I'M CONVINCED!" Gamagori yelled with embarrassment. Although Hoka's smirk was only visible for a second before his mouth was covered up, Ryuko, Satsuki, and Mako got a glimpse of Hoka's expression.

"What did you tell him….?" Ryuko asked.

"It's a long story."

…

"BATTLE BEGIN!" Haruhi shouted.

"Now Shionketsu, you remember the strategy for Jakuzure, right?"

"Huh…..Oh yeah! Right, use Shionketsu Mubyoshi when she launches a sound wave."

Jakuzure then launched sound waves from her tank. "Shionketsu, remember what to do?"

Shionketsu wasn't responding, so I get hit with sound waves. "Shionketsu, what did I JUST tell you?"

"Sorry, I can't help it…..She's really cute…."

"She can't even hear a word you say."

"I can look at the menu, I just can't order off of it."

I sighed. "Look, we still need to fight, okay?"

"Right, right…."

Jakuzure started laughing. "I don't see why the toad lost to you. You're just as weak as any other no star!"

Shionketsu suddenly became angry. "Ya know, on second thought, lets show this bitch what we're made of!"

"Glad to see you cooperating." Shionketsu deployed his arm-blade, and I charged at Jakuzure to hit her tank. It hit, but I don't know if I did anything.

Jakuzure then started shooting razor-sharp music notes.

"Shionketsu Mubyoshi!" Shionketsu put up a force-field, and deflected the attacks.

"Oh, you think you're so clever, no star!" Jakuzure shot a lot of music notes and soundwaves, making it difficult for the force-field to stay up.

"I think we might need more than your arm-blade." I said to Shionketsu. "Lets try Kanadzuchi."

"Right!" Shionketsu changed to his Kanadzuchi form, and he hit Jakuzure's tank with it, and it certainly sounded like we damaged it.

"It seems you can attack best when you're grounded. Well how do you like this; Symphony Regalia Presto!" Jakuzure's tank reconfigured itself into an airship, leaving the odds against us.

"The sky is mine!" She then launched bass beats at us, but we dodged most of them.

"Shionketsu, you remember what to do when this happens, right?"

"Yes, and this bitch is in for a surprise!" Shionketsu then transformed into Shionketsu Shippu, allowing them to be airborne.

"Oh come on!" Jakuzure cried. "You always have to come up with SOME way to counter me, no star!"

Ryuko and Senketsu laughed to each other in the audience.

"Remember how long it took us to figure out Senketsu Shippu?" Ryuko said to Senketsu.

"Yeah, but if it weren't for us, they would probably have a much more difficult time." Senketsu said.

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you." Hoka said. "You don't want to underestimate Jakuzure. She is strong, and won't give up easily."

Jakuzure went full force on Kyon and Shionketsu, spamming missiles, lasers, cymbal blades, bass beats, and the like. This was difficult for Kyon to try to dodge.

"How are we going to find an attack opening if she keeps spamming like that?"

"I dunno." Shionketsu said "Maybe we can try to go in close, and then hit her with my arm-blade."

"I'll take any ideas" I said, and did as Shionketsu said. However, when I got in close to Jakuzure, she shot me down with a heart-shaped beam.

"Any other ideas?" I asked Shionketsu.

"I dunno…..Maybe we can deflect her attacks?"

"Let's hope that works." Jakuzure shot cymbal blades, but I deflected some of them with Shionketsu's arm-blade.

"We need something more powerful. Like Kanadzuchi, but that isn't airborne."

"Wait, I think I might be able to make that work." Shionketsu said.

"Wait, you think you can use Kanadzuchi while flying?"

"It's worth a shot." Shionketsu tried concentrating, and transformed into Shionetsu Shippu, but had the hammer head on one arm.

"Good job. Got a name for this?"

"Yeah, how about Kanadzuchi Shippu?"

"I guess that'll work." I tried flying up to Jakuzure's airship, but reflecting her projectiles was a little more difficult with Kanadzuchi than with the arm-blade.

I then started hitting her airship, and it was damaged pretty badly. Of course, Jakuzure tried defending herself by using offense, which sort of worked.

I ended up destroying her airship, and it exploded into a bunch of instruments.

"Well Shionketsu, it looks like we won this."

"Oh not so fast!" Oh god….I'm guessing we didn't defeat Jakuzure just yet?

"My goku uniform still has a few tricks up its sleeves!" I noticed her uniform was different. "Say hello to Symphony Regalia Da Capo!"

Right…I forgot Satsuki told me about this form….Now if only I could remember what it does…

The remains of her vehicle transformed into a stage (Go figure) that she stood on. She shot a purple beam while _Beethoven's 5_ _th_ _Symphony: Fate_ played. I'll admit, the music was nice and all, but I couldn't move after being hit by it.

"Wh…what happened?"

"Like it? It manipulates the life-fibers of Shionketsu, and not only does it stun you, it also damages you!"

"Shionketsu, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but I can't move!"

While we were stunned, Jakuzure kept hitting us with more beams. It did wear off, luckily.

"Shionketsu, you know what to do the next time she uses that attack, right?"

"Yeah, I think I've learned my lesson!"

She shot the same laser from the cannon on her hat, and Shionetsu used Shionketsu Mubyoshi, deflecting it, and it hit Jakuzure.

"Wh….what!? I can't move now!"

"Yeah, its manipulating the life-fibers of your goku uniform." I said to her in the same tone she said to me.

"Y..you!"

Shionketsu deployed his arm-blade. "Well, Haruhi wanted me to fight her, so this was inevitable." I jumped towards Jakuzure, and slashed at her with Shionketsu's arm blade, which destroyed her goku uniform, and launched her across the battlefield.

"Fiber lost!" As usual, the fiber from her uniform was absorbed into Shionketsu.

"Fiber acquired!"

"WHAT!? NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE DEFEATED JAKUZURE!" Haruhi cried.

"Look, you're going to have to accept their loses, okay?"

"WELL YOU STILL HAVE TO FIGHT SANAGEYAMA AND KOIZUMI! BECAUSE I'M NICE, I'LL LET YOU PICK AGAIN!" If you were nice, you wouldn't be yelling at me right now. In fact, if you were nice, you also wouldn't have an army of students under your control. Kind of flawed logic, wouldn't you say Haruhi?

Haruhi then calmed down. "So you only have those two options left, and that isn't a lot."

I think this one is a no-brainer. I'll probably fight Koizumi last, so I'm going to pick Sanageyama.

"I choose Uzu Sanageyama!" I shouted as I looked directly at Haruhi.

"Very well then! Uzu!"

"Yes, Lady Haruhi." Sanageyama said as he walked down onto the battlefield.

Now this guy here seems like somebody more suited for combat; he has a sword, so I'm guessing that's his main weapon, but seeing as how crazy things are here, I could be completely wrong.

 **[So this was Chapter 7. I'm not very proud of the fight between Kyon and Nonon, as I felt like it was hard to live up to how I did with Kyon and Ira. That, and I feel like I did a mediocre job on it, but hey, if you thought otherwise, that's what the reviews are for. And yeah, I think it was obvious I was saving Kyon vs Itsuki for last, seeing as how there would be an emotional battle there as well. And let me tell you something about future chapters; I was considering dropping Nui from the story, but I have a better idea. I'm not going into detail, but let me tell you, _somebody_ will be taking her place. If you can guess who it is correctly, you get a cookie. So anyways, leave your thoughts in the reviews, and if you're interested, follow or favorite.] **


	8. Chapter 8

Uzu Sanageyama walked down to the battlefield. I'll admit that he seemed more intimidating than Jakuzure, but that might have something to do with the fact that he was wielding an actual weapon. One thing I thought was odd about him was that he was wearing a mask.

"So, what's with your mask? Are you trying to cosplay as a Ninja Turtle or something?" I asked Sanageyama.

"My eyes are sewn shut, so I have this mask to cover my eyes."

"So how are you the Athletic Committee chair, yet you can't even see?"

"I may be blind, but that doesn't mean I can't see!" Isn't that the definition of blind?

"There is a contradiction in what you just said….."

"What I'm trying to say is that I can sense any incoming attacks due to my lack of sight!"

This world makes absolutely no sense….

"But anyways, that's for another day! Right now, we fight!" Sanageyama said before doing his transformation.

"Blade Regalia Mk II!" Mark Two? Why is it that his uniform is a mark two while Gamagori and Jakuzure had a mark one?

His uniform looked more like a mech than a uniform. One thing I thought was strange was that he still used a bamboo sword. I would have thought he would use something sturdier.

Meanwhile in the audience, Ryuko was a little anxious. "We never did defeat Sanageyama…We couldn't really help with him….."

"If he was using Mk I, then you could have told him your strategy." Satsuki said "But since he isn't, he might have to come up with something of his own, but I'm unsure how he can do that if he can anticipate his every movement…."

They the noticed that Nonon, wearing gym clothes, sat down next to Gamagori.

"Hey! Jakuzre is here to help cheer on Kyon!" Mako said,

"Cheer him on. What a joke!" Nonon said.

"Actually, you might want to cheer him on." Satsuki said.

"What are you talking about? Why would I cheer that no star on?"

"Lady Satsuki here has some explaining to do." Gamagori said.

"Lady Satsuki? I wouldn't expect you to say that of all people, toad."

"Allow me to explain." Nagato said, catching the attention of Nonon before going on a long explanation…

…

"BATTLE BEGIN!" Haruhi shouted.

Immediately, Sanageyama ran up to me, and hit me on the head with his bamboo sword.

"MEN!" He shouted as he hit my head.

Afterwards, he swung his sword at my waist, and struck it.

"DO!"

He then followed by hitting my wrist.

"KOTE!"

Just when I thought he was done, he hit my head again, and yelled "MEN!", and then followed with another "DO!", finishing with a "KOTE!"

He repeated this, while yelling "MEN! DO! KOTE!" Each time he said it, he said it faster, and it got REALLY annoying.

Luckily for me, he did stop. "You're lucky my goku uniform could overheat if I kept doing that!"

"Kyon, this is a great time for us to land a hit!" Shionketsu said.

"We really shouldn't."

"Stop being a coward Kyon!" I would try to argue, but Shionketsu somehow managed to take control of my body, and had me run up to him.

"SHIONKETSU!"

"You were the one who was an idiot and refused to attack him!" Shionketsu said as he deployed his wrist-blade. He was about to slash at Sanageyama, but he countered with his bamboo sword.

"You really don't remember what I said, do you?" Sanageyama said with a smirk. "I can see the world, and that includes your attacks!" He then hit us with his bamboo sword, and caused us to fly back.

"So, got any ideas wise guy?" Shionketsu said.

"I do have one, but it might be difficult to execute."

"It's worth a shot."

Sanageyama ran towards us, about to do another men do kote, but we managed to dodge them, which was difficult at the speed he was going. When he was about to do swing, we dodged his sword, and I swung Shionketsu's wrist-blade at his sword, hoping to cut it in half.

Of course with our luck, and Sanageyama's ability to foresee attacks, he moved his sword out of the way, and hit us on the head with his sword.

Before he could swing at our waist, we countered with the wrist-blade.

"You know, my bamboo sword isn't my only sword." Sanageyama said.

Shionketsu started chuckling. "Shut up!" I said to him.

Sanageyama's goku uniform deployed two gatling guns from the shoulders' of his uniform.

"What the!?" Hoka said in the audience. "Uzu's Mk II uniform didn't have that!"

 **[Author's note: At least I THINK it didn't. I apologize if I messed this up, as I can't exactly remember much from Ryuko's battles with the E4 in Kill la Kill, and I really don't feel like rewatching it just to remember. Sorry]**

"Suzumiya!" Ryuko said in an angry tone.

"Yes, it would seem that Suzumiya altered Uzu's goku uniform because she thought it seemed like a good idea." Satsuki said.

"I still find it difficult to believe that Haruhi isn't the leader of Honnouji and that she just altered the world." Nonon said. "But Gamagori seems convinced. Seeing how loyal he was to Haruhi, this is definitely saying something."

Sanageyama's goku uniform started shooting swords from gatling guns.

It became difficult to dodge them, but then I had an idea.

"Shionketsu, can you try your Kanadzuchi form?"

"Yeah, sure." Shionketsu transformed into Shionketsu Kanadzuchi, and when I was about to get hit with another one of Sanageyama's swords, I hit them back with the Shionketsu's hammer.

"I think it's about time you find a better technique!"

"And I think it's about time I stopped monkeying around!" Sanageyama then combined his gauntlets together to make the hilt of a massive shinai blade. He swung it at me, and (Unsurprisingly) it really hurt.

"Kyon, I dunno how we're gonna beat this guy." Shionketsu said.

"I have an idea, but it's a risky one."

Sanageyama hit me with his shinai blade again. "Wow, you seem to have given up! Might as well forfeit!"

"I won't give up!"

"There really is no point in continuing!" He then hit me on my head and yelled "MEN!"

Here we go again.

"DO!"

I don't know how I'm surviving this.

"KOTE!"

I was getting really beat up. He kept using his men do kote on me, and I felt like I was almost done for.

He then hit me with his sword again, and hit me back really far.

"This is what you get for challenging Lady Haruhi, no star!"

"I wouldn't speak so soon, Monkey. I think you didn't learn from your fight with Ryuko."

"What are you talking about?" Just then, steam came from the cracks of Sanageyama's uniform. It then was glowing, and transformed back into it's default state.

"What the…!?"

"You don't remember? Your goku uniform can overheat, you know?"

"Agh! How could I forget!"

"Perhaps it might have something to do with altering the universe?"

"Wait, what?"

"Nagato will explain after I destroy your uniform."

Shionketsu deployed his arm-blade, and I jumped at Sanageyama, which destroyed his goku uniform.

"Fiber lost!" This was redundant, but satisfying.

"Fiber acquired!" Again, Shionketsu absorbed the life-fiber from Sanageyama's uniform.

"OH COME ON! THAT ENDING WASN'T EVEN REALLY CLIMATIC!" Haruhi shouted.

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ME princess.

"AND YOU WON'T GET TO PICK YOUR NEXT OPPONENT, BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT!"

Gee, thank you Captain Obvious!

"KOIZUMI! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

"With pleasure, Lady Haruhi." I love how Koizumi is still just as willing to do what Haruhi says, even though he doesn't know what Haruhi can really do.

Koizumi then walked down to the battlefield.

"So, you must be the no star student Miss Suzumiya has so much interest in." Koizumi said, as calm as ever.

"Itsuki! Please tell me you remember me!"

Koizumi then gave me a confused look. "Remember you from what?"

"Remember North High? The S.O.S. Brigade? You're an esper from an organization that's unoriginally called 'The Organization'!"

"Kyon, what are you smoking." Shionketsu said.

"Shut up, Shionketsu!"

"I'm afraid I don't recall any of this."

"But…..how?" This doesn't make sense…How come Haruhi has traces of me in her memory, but not Koizumi?

"But I'm more interested how you wear clothing made of nothing but life-fiber. You must show me!" Koizumi said in his unsettling voice.

 **[So, what did you think of between the fight between Kyon and Uzu? Personally, I can't but help but feel it was half-assed, but what do YOU think. I would say, it sure would be nice to get more reviews, but hey, I'm grateful for the reviews I have (Even if they are all from the same person). So yeah, Koizumi is next, and I was originally planning on ending this with the fight between Kyon and Haruhi, but I've decided to extend it. Again, follow or favorite if you're interested, and please leave a review if you want to leave your praises/complaints.]**


	9. Chapter 9

**[So before I begin this chapter, I want to say that I included two references to something non-Haruhi and non-Kill la Kill. If you found them, leave what you think they are in the review.]**

"Look Koizumi, we don't have to fight! If you can maybe try to remember the adventures we had together at North High, maybe you can help me restore things!"

"What you're saying does sound intriguing, but I must do as Lady Haruhi commands."

This is hopeless…

"You have to remember something! The time we repeated summer I don't know how many times! The time when Haruhi almost destroyed the universe because we were losing a baseball game! The school festival!"

"Kyon, ya seem really frantic." Shionketsu said to me.

"QUIT YOUR BICKERING YOU TWO!" Haruhi shouted. "WHATS TAKING SO LONG FOR YOU TO TRANSFORM, KOIZUMI!?"

"My apologies, Lady Haruhi." Koizumi then gave me a dead serious look, yet he was still smiling. "I'm afraid we can't continue our conversation due to Lady Haruhi's orders, and besides, I need to collect data on your kamui."

Koizumi was then swallowed up by a bright light.

"Probe Regalia!" When the light faded away, he was wearing a suit that seemed a little…How should I say this?...Futuristic?

Hoka was analyzing the battle from the audience. "This should certainly be interesting; seeing how I fought against Ryuko, that is if he has the same battle strategy I did."

I saw Koizumi was rapidly typing all over his uniform, which I also found really weird. Does his uniform have keys all over it? Man, this place is REALLY weird.

"Now, show me how you fight wearing clothing made entirely of life-fibers!"

"BATTLE BEGIN!" Haruhi yelled.

"Itsuki shouldn't be too hard to defeat. Remember what Inumuta said about taking him down?"

"Right. I think he said we need to perform reckless attacks." Shionketsu said.

"However, there is a problem with that….."

"Eh? What is it?"

"You seem a little confident." Koizumi said "However, you can't attack…..What you can't see! Optical Camouflage!" He then turned disappeared into thin air.

"He can turn invisible…."

"Oh…."

Me and Shionketsu kept looking around, incase Koizumi attacked us.

"Itsuki, I'd always be willing to take up that offer with you."

"Kyon, do ya REALLY think he would disobey that Suzumiya chick?"

Just then, I felt something jab me in my stomach. Koizumi appeared in front of me. "That would probably be easier if you're body wasn't exposed like that." He said with a smirk.

"Why you little…..!" I tried to attack him, but he disappeared again.

"So, how exactly are we supposed to attack him recklessly if he's invisible?" Shionketsu asked.

"He's only invisible, but can still hear and touch him."

"Heh…..the second thing you said….."

"Shut up!" I said, cutting him off. If only we didn't argue like that, because I felt Koizumi jabbing me in the stomach again. I then felt him punch me in the face, and then he low-kicked me, resulting in me to trip.

"Kyon, you alright?"

"Please. This pain is nothing to what the OTHER Elites put me through."

I stood back up on my feet, but feel something choke me, which I'm assuming was Koizumi.

"Oh, don't think I want to harm you." He said into my ear. "I just want to collect data." He then tossed me onto the ground.

"WELL THEN, SHOW YOURSELF, YOU COWARD!"

"Okay." Koizumi said before he revealed himself, but he just punched me in the face, and disappeared again.

"Damn it, Itsuki!"

"Hey Kyon, you seem a bit more angry than usual."

"Well I have the right to be! He isn't even showing himself! That should be considered cheating!"

I heard Koizumi laugh behind me. "You are quite foolish." He said before he jabbed me in my neck.

"If I actually wanted to fight you, your time would be up!" He said before he jabbed me in my chest again.

"Because my time is now!" He punched me in my face again.

"And you can't see me!" He kicked me in my chest.

"Because my time is now!" He finished by low-kicking me, and I fell over again.

"Ya know, at least ya could actually SEE the other Elites." Shionketsu said.

"Sheesh, imagine how difficult Jakuzure would be if she was invisible." I shivered just at the thought of that.

"But like I said earlier, we can at least try to listen to him."

"What are we gonna listen to, him typing?"

"Exactly!"

"Oh. That's actually not a bad idea….." Shionketsu said before Koizumi gave me an uppercut.

"Now listen!"

Me and Shionketsu stood still. "He's behind ya Kyon!" I turned around, and hit Koizumi with Shionketsu's arm-blade, and he became visible.

"Interesting…." Koizumi said as he rapidly typed all over his body.

"Shionketsu, transform into Shionketsu Kanadzuchi!"

"Right!" He transformed into Shionketsu Kanadzuchi, but by the time he finished transforming, Koizumi was invisible again.

"Oh come on!"

I was then jabbed again by Koizumi, but this time in the back.

"Hey Kyon, I guess you could technically say…you got stabbed in the back by this guy…"

"Shut up, Shionketsu!" I said with a laugh this time.

"Now remember, listen!"

"He's about the jab ya!" I then smacked Koizumi's arm with Shionketsu's hammer, and he became visible.

"Well, you aren't the only one with more tricks up your sleeve!" Hey Itsuki, the person who used to wear your goku uniform told me your strategy?

Wait, what is he doing?

Inumuta didn't say anything about Probe Regalia generating energy spheres.

"What the!?" Hoka said as he was watching the battle, and typing the results on his laptop. "This is fascinating! My uniform never did that before!"

"I still dunno about Haruhi not being the leader of Honnouji." Uzu said, wearing gym clothes.

"If Mr. Toad here is convinced, then don't ya think that's saying something?" Jakuzure pointed out.

"You do have a point about that."

"GO KYON!" Mako said with great enthusiasm.

Shiro Iori was also confused about why Koizumi's goku uniform could make energy spheres. "When did this happen!? I didn't add that in!"

Koizumi shot the energy sphere at me. "Like it? I didn't know my goku uniform could do it until a week ago!"

I don't think that's an attack from your goku uniform. In fact, I think you still have your esper powers, but you didn't activate them until a week ago.

Koizumi shot another energy ball at me, but I reflected it with Shionketsu's hammer. I had Shionketsu switch to his arm-blade, but Koizumi put a force-field around himself.

"This is also something I didn't know my goku uniform could do until last week."

Great. Now I can't even attack him.

"Don't give up Kyon!" Shionketsu said to me. "We can still win, you just need to keep attacking!" Shionketsu somehow manipulated my body by having his wrist-blade rapidly slashing at Koizumi's force-field.

"How you keep attacking…That's a lot of data for me to record!" Koizumi was typing all over his body more rapidly. In fact, he was typing so fast, his arms weren't even visible!

"This is exactly what we wanted!" Shionketsu said. "By collecting this much data, his uniform will overheat!"

"That's right!" I said. "I have an idea! Can you make your other arm Kanadzuchi?"

"I like the way you think!" Shionketsu tried to make his other arm have the hammer, and succeeded. We then worked together to hit the force-field with Shionketsu's hammer and arm-blade, and Koizumi was forced to collect all the data.

"Oh no…..This is too much data! If I keep going, my uniform will overheat! Maybe I should surrender….."

Before he could decide, his uniform returned to its default state, and the force-field around him disappeared.

"Oh no! My data!"

"This is our chance Shionketsu!" I said as I jumped toward Koizumi, and slashed at his goku uniform, destroying it.

"Fiber lost!" This was repetitive, but satisfying.

"Fiber acquired!" I think you understand what happened right now.

I looked up at Haruhi, and she looked really pissed.

"OH, I SEE HOW IT IS! BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU DEFEATED MY ELITE FOUR DOES NOT MEAN YOU WILL DEFEAT ME!" Haruhi said as she stomped down to the battlefield.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think this is better then beating the crap out of her…"Look Haruhi, I don't have to fight you…."

"What!?"

"I think I know why I seem familiar…And that's because we went to school together…We went to North High….You founded the S.O.S. Brigade, to look for weird and unusual stuff! You wanted to meet aliens, time travelers, and espers! And on the way, you met Yuki Nagato, Mikuru Asahina, and Itsuki Koizumi!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I expected a blunt response like that from Haruhi.

"Things aren't supposed to be this way, but I thought you wouldn't remember me as Kyon. However, I do know WHO you remember me as."

"Get to the point!"

"Three years ago, in East Junior High, you drew graffiti the field of the school….."

"Well yeah! Everybody knows that!"

"But I know something you didn't tell anybody…You were helped by a man who carried a girl on his back….."

Haruhi looked extremely shocked.

"Who….WHERE DID YOU LEANR THIS! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!" She yelled as she ran up to me.

"My name…Is John Smith!"

 **[So this was the battle between Kyon and Itsuki, and I must say, I feel more proud of this chapter than the last two for some reason. But what did you guys think of it? As usual, if you have any complaints or praises, feel free to leave them in the reviews, and I will gladly take any suggestions you guys have for me, and I'll be sure to credit you for any ideas you gave to me. And if you're interested, be sure to follow or favorite.]**


	10. Chapter 10

**[And here we are - The battle I've been building up to; Kyon v.s. Haruhi. I hope you guys will get a thrill out of it...]**

"Y…y…YOU'RE JOHN SMITH!?"

"Well, no, because that isn't really my name. It was a code name I went by. People call me Kyon, but my real name is….."

"SHUT UP! THERE'S NO WAY YOU COULD BE JOHN SMITH! AND BESIDES, YOU STILL NEED TO FIGHT ME!" There the Haruhi I'm familiar with!

Haruhi touched the wrist on her kamui, which Satsuki told me was named Junketsu. She was then engulfed in a bright light, and did a transformation sequence.

"Life-fiber synchronization – Kamui Junketsu!"

Holy crap, her uniform is over-sexualized!

"Hey Kyon…I can tell you're…..'Excited'…by her." Shionketsu said, following with a chuckle.

"Shut up Shionketsu!"

Haruhi then unsheathed her sword, which Satsuki said was named Bakuzan. At least that wasn't alive, because I've had enough of objects that are usually inanimate being sentient.

"Now then no star, we fight right now!"

Well, looks like its coming down to this…Its finally time for me to face Haruhi…I'm both nervous and excited at the same time….And not in the way Shionketsu just said…..

"Shionketsu, are you ready for this?"

"Sure am!" He said before he deployed his arm-blade.

"Alright! The battle between me, Lady Haruhi of Honnouji Academy, and Kyon, who claims to be 'John Smith' will now begin!"

Me and Haruhi both ran towards eachother, her wielding Bakuzan, and me with Shionketsu's arm-blade…..I can't believe it…I finally get to beat the crap out of Haruhi! Sure, she might destroy the universe, and Itsuki will regain his memory just to scold me, but at this rate, I don't care! Nothing can stop me from defeating Haruhi!

….Or at least that's what I thought before something or someone appeared between us.

And whatever it was, it was very pink, and was holding a parasol. I'm guessing it was a person.

"Is that!?..." Ryuko said frantically in the audience.

"No, I don't think that can be Nui." Satsuki said, hoping to calm Ryuko.

"But what's to stop Suzumiya from reviving Nui!?"

"…That is true. But I just know that isn't Nui." Satsuki said with great confidence.

"What is she doing here!?" Haruhi said in a panicky voice.

From where I'm standing, I can't see who she is, because the back of her head is blocked by her parasol.

"Hi there Lady Haruhi! I haven't seen you in awhile!"

Oh no…..I could NEVER forget that voice…..

"Oh, did I interrupt something?"

Oh no…..Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!

"Kyon, are ya alright? Ya seem REALLY scared right now?"

NONONONONONONONONO! THIS CAN'T BE HER!

She then turned around…and she was exactly who I feared her to be…..

"RYOKO ASAKURA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Haruhi shouted.

"Oh, I just decided to stop by!" Asakura said before she stuck her tongue out, and I'm guessing she was trying to wink, but couldn't because one of her eyes had a purple eye patch over it.

"Hey Kyon, ya look like ya just saw a ghost…..You alright?" Shionketsu asked me.

I couldn't answer because I was paralyzed in fear….

"What's up with Kyon?" Mako asked.

"I'm not sure." Ryuko said. "He looks like he's cared of this chick taking Nui's place."

"I think I can explain why." Nagato said. "Ryoko Asakura is also from the Data Overmind Humanoid Interface, like myself. In order to see how Suzumiya would react, she tried murdering Kyon by stabbing him, and I stopped her by removing her form the physical world." Everyone else seem impressed that Nagato said that in such an emotionless tone.

"That's terrible!" said Mako.

"And we never really did find a way to kill Nui…." Ryuko said.

I felt like I was losing myself…I wasn't sure what to do…..I really shouldn't be surprised, since Haruhi reset everything, but…The fact that she tried murdering me TWICE makes her terrifying!

Asakura then looked at me. "Oh, who is this? Another kamui user?"

"NEW OBJECTIVE!" Haruhi shouted "INSTEAD OF FIGHTING ME, YOU MUST FIGHT ASAKURA!"

Oh no…..Why do I have to do this….You know what? No! I'm stronger now than I was both of those times! I have Shionketsu! I can defeat her! She doesn't even have a weapon or a uniform!

I ran up to Asakura, about to cut her with Shionketsu's arm-blade, and I actually landed a hit…It was mildly gruesome, but I sliced her arm off.

"Oh, you silly ape!" She said and then giggled. I looked at her, and saw her arm had somehow reattached itself to her body…Man, am I screwed…

She pulled out a weapon that looked like Ryuko's Scissor-Blade, but it was purple instead of red, and the handle was more round than the one Ryuko had. I remember she told me about this…

"Well, in order to see how Miss Suzumiya reacts, I'm going to have to kill you!" Man, that sounds way too familiar….

Suddenly, Shionketsu transformed back into his default state. "Hey Kyon, aren't ya gonna do something!? She's tryin to kill us! Do something!"

Asakura was getting closer to me with her Scissor-Blade….I'm confident this is the end…They say third times the charm, and this is certainly the case for Asakura…

"RYOKO ASAKURA!" Haruhi's backlight shone on both of us, and just in time, or else I'd probably been severed by Asakura.

"I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T DO THIS EARLIER, BUT I HEARBY FORBID YOU TO SET FOOT ON HONNOUJI ACADEMY!"

Never did I think I'd say this, but thank you Haruhi!

"Well, if you say so, Miss Suzumiya!" She said with with a smile, and then giggled. She then joyfully walked away.

"Thank you so much, Haruhi!" I ran up to Haruhi, and even hugged her. After I realized what I did, I quickly backed off.

Haruhi then slapped me. "Ow!"

"What is the meaning of this!? What do you mean YOU'RE John Smith!?"

"It's a long story, and I have some other people here who'll need to help explain it…"

…

Me, Haruhi, Ryuko, Nagato, Asahina, Hoka, Mako, Mikisugi Satsuki, and the Student Council were all in the Student Council room, and we had just explained everything to her.

"So…I'm not supposed to be the ruler of Honnouji?"

"That is correct." Satsuki said. "At the same time, Honnouji was sunken to the bottom of the ocean."

Koizumi's face lit up. "I don't know how, but I've regained my memory! I remember it all! North High, the S.O.S. Brigade, The Organization…"

I saw Asahina's face light up to. "I remember it too! I'm not supposed to be here!"

"But how is it that they just regained their memory?" Mikisugi asked. "That doesn't make too much sense….."

"Haruhi, do you remember anything?" I asked.

"No, I don't."

Everyone was silent, until Mako crossed her arms, and I heard another "Hallelujah!"

"I think I know why she doesn't remember!" Mako was eating a banana.

"The esper and the time traveler had something to trigger their memory!" Mako was holding two guns upside-down.

"Haruhi needs something to trigger her memory!" She was then dressed as a dinosaur.

"That does seem like a good explanation" I pointed out "But what WOULD trigger her memory."

"You said that in an alternate world, I could make anything I want happen?" Haruhi asked.

"Yes, but that's only in the OTHER world!"

"Kyon, I need to talk to you privately." Koizumi said. We walked out of the room together.

"Actually, Haruhi could very well alter the universe as it is."

Ah crap!

"So, if she wanted to, she could become the most powerful being in the universe?" I asked fearfully.

"Yes, but only if she is aware she is capable of doing so. Whatever we do, we must not let her find out the truth!"

Me and Koizumi walked back into the same room. "Sorry about that!" Koizumi said.

"But if you really did reset the universe, does that mean Ragyo is still alive?" Satsuki asked.

"Yes, she is. And I was planning on betraying her soon."

"Is this at The Great Sport and Culture Festival?"

"Yes. That's what I was planning on doing, until you told me how that worked out."

"Well I know what we can do when that happens!" Ryuko said. "I can do what I did the first time I tried defeating Ragyo! Me and Senkets can absorb everyone else's life-fibers, and then we take that bitch down!"

"I guess we'll do that." Haruhi said. "I'll try to work on planning that. As for now, I want everyone to leave so I can try to plan this."

We decided to do that, and we all left.

…

 **Enter 3** **rd** **Person Narrator**

When everyone had left the room, Haruhi had a sinister grin on her face. She picked up the receiver of her phone on her desk.

"This is Haruhi. Get me Ragyo."

After waiting a few seconds, she got a hold of Ragyo.

"Well, hello there darling. What is it you called me for?"

"Honnouji Academy will be having The Great Sport and Culture Festival, and that would be a good place to act your plan out."

"That is excellent news Haruhi. Soon, the world will see the power of the life-fibers."

"Right….."

"Now, if you would excuse me, I have a meeting I need to attend to. I'm sorry we had such a short conversation. Goodbye dear."

"Goodbye mother." Haruhi hung up, still grinning.

She picked the receiver up again, but called someone different.

"Asakura."

"Why hello there Lady Haruhi! Why are you calling me after you banned me from your school?"

"Why I banned you is of no matter right now. I want you to knit something very powerful for Ragyo."

"Poweful? How powerful?"

"Something more powerful than a kamui!"

"Like a god robe?"

"Yes, that'll do!"

"Okie dokie! I'll get right on it!" Asakura said before she hung up.

"Excellent." Haruhi's grin only grew bigger and more sinister. "I've got them all fooled. Those no-stars, The Student Council, Ryoko, even my own mother! I'll show them all soon enough….."

 **[...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND I lied, but don't worry. There will be a battle between Kyon and Haruhi soon enough. So yeah, I thought Ryoko would make a good Nui because Nui's character seems like an exaggerated version of Ryoko's; Both innocent looking, but it turns out both are up to no good. As usual,leave your review for what you thought, and follow or favorite if you are interested. And what could Haruhi possibly be planning? Find out,in the next chapter of Kill la Haruhi!]**


	11. Chapter 11

I was in the Student Council room with the Elite Four, Ryuko, Mako, Satsuki, Nagato, Asahina, and Mikisugi and Kinagese from Nudist Beach.

"So here is our plan." Haruhi said firmly. "I will have the Sewing Club make new goku uniforms for the Elite Four, and goku uniforms for Koizumi, Asahina, Nagato, and Mako. Me, Kyon, and Matoi all have kamuis, and that should be enough to stop Ragyo. Nudist Beach has a bunch of anti-life-fiber stuff, giving us the upper-hand."

"Yeah, what if this fails? Do you have a back-up plan?" I asked.

"Of course. If that fails, we'll have Ryuko and Senketsu absorb everyone else's life-fibers to transform into Senketsu Kisaragi."

"Roger that!" Ryuko said with pride.

I'm actually surprised Haruhi managed to pull this all together. I thought she would come up with a reckless plan with no back-up, but she came up with one that could work.

"That sounds like a pretty solid plan." Koizumi said. "But why have Matoi absorb the life-fibers rather than you or Kyon?"

"Because Ryuko is the only life-fiber hybrid." Hoka said. "Kyon and Haruhi are not life-fiber hybrids, and I'm quite surprised that Kyon manages to wear Shionketsu."

"Believe me, I don't know how I deal with Shionketsu either." I followed with a snicker.

"Shut up!" Shionketsu said to me.

So this is how things are turning out…..I'll be honest, I kind of was looking forward to beating the crap out of Haruhi, but I guess that won't be happening. Oh well…If this is what Haruhi wants, I guess if we accomplish this, everything will return to normal.

"That is all. Now I request you all leave now." Everyone left, with only Haruhi left in the Student Council room.

…

 **Enter 3** **rd** **Person Narrator**

Ragyo was in her office in REVOCS Corporation, with her secretary, Rei Hoomaru, standing beside her. She picked up the receiver on her phone and decided to contact Haruhi.

"Hello there darling. I heard from Ryoko that you wanted her to make a god robe for me?"

"That is correct." Haruhi stated.

"Why so?"

"There are two kamui users that attend Honnouji, and they could try to stop you. However, with a god robe, it would have the Absolute Submission ability, and could stop them."

"That is a great way to plan ahead. Together, we'll be able to show the world the power of the life-fibers!"

"Yes mother." Ragyo then hung up.

"Soon, I'll finally be able to have the world devoured by the life-fibers, just like it deserves! After all, humans belong to clothing!"

"Yes Lady Ragyo." Rei said firmly.

"Of course, seeing how stubborn these pigs are, they probably won't understand that they need to submit themselves to clothing, but that is what the COVERS are for." Ragyo then had a sinister grin on her face.

…

 **Enter Kyon**

So I'm not sure how I'm supposed to prepare for it, but The Great Sports and Culture Festival is coming up soon.

But I should question this; Satsuki's mother was Ragyo Kiryuin, but since she's Haruhi's mother in this reality, is she known as Ragyo Suzumiya? I guess I'll have to see.

But now that I think about it, Haruhi's plan has a minor hole in it. Is the point of making these goku uniforms just so Ryuko can absorb them? I mean, I know that was her back-up plan, so to me, it seems like a wasted effort just to make brand new uniforms just to have them absorbed into Senketsu.

I also wonder, does that mean Shionketsu will have to be absorbed into Senketsu? I heard Junketsu was, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want to give up Shionketsu! I've actually grown close to him. Granted, I know I was supposed to when everything returned to normal, but this feels so soon…

"Hey Kyon? Ya alright?" Shionketsu asked me.

"Oh! Yeah, I'm fine…"

"Are ya sure? Ya seem a little blue."

"It's nothing really….."

"Kyon, I know you're lying to me. Just spit it out."

"I really shouldn't…."

"Kyon, if ya don't, I'll tell Ryuko you have the hots for her."

"What the!? Where are you getting that idea from!?

"Kyon, you wear me. I know how your body acts." Shionketsu giggled afterwards.

"Why you little…..She can't even hear you!"

"Actually, you're wrong. She can, cuz she's a life-fiber hybrid."

"Alight, fine! You win!"

"So, what is it?"

"Well…You know how things aren't supposed to be the way they are….."

"Yeah?"

"Well….This also means you aren't supposed to exist…"

Shionketsu suddenly seemed crushed. "What."

"And this means that when we complete our task…That means both worlds will return to normal…Meaning that you will have never existed….."

"W..what?" I have a feeing I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Shionketsu…..I'm sorry…."

It seemed like Shionketsu was trying not to cry. "W..well, I won't miss ya or anyone else here!"

"Look, Shionketsu, I should have not told you…"

"And I should have just not transformed that one time and let ya die! I mean, you're trying to do the same thing!"

What have I done….

"Shionketsu, I'm not trying to kill you! And besides, we still need to work together! We can't have Ragyo have the world devoured by life-fibers!"

"Why should I listen to ya! You're probably lying to me again!"

Why did I think it was a good idea to give in?

…

A few days have passed, and Shionketsu hasn't said a single word to me. He won't even let me wear him, so I have to wear a no-star uniform to school.

I can't help but feel this is my fault. If I could have maybe tried to pull Haruhi away from her anime addiction. If only I had a goku uniform instead. If only I would have kept my mouth shut.

Incase you didn't notice, the key words in my mind are "If only".

When I arrived home one day, I collapsed in my bed. I looked over to my open closet where Shionketsu was, but didn't even bother to talk to him because I know he would ignore me.

I then heard my sister from downstairs. "Kyon! You have visitors for you!"

"Just let them in!" I shouted.

I heard footsteps, and saw Ryuko with Senketsu walk in.

"Hey Kyon, I noticed you haven't been wearing Shionketsu lately. What's up with that?"

"He refuses to let me wear him."

"Why?"

"I told him what will happen if we complete our task….."

"Oh…" Ryuko said with sorrow.

"And you are aware what else will happen when everything returns to normal, right?"

Ryuko looked confused at first, but she finally got the hint. "That also means…Senkets…."

I looked over at Senketsu, and saw him looking upset, and almost like he was about to shed a tear. Ryuko tried to comfort him, which she was much better at doing than I was with Shionketsu.

After about 10 minutes of silence, someone broke the silence. "While I will probably die again, I know it will be worth it. It will be for a purpose. We can't let this world fall into the hands of Ragyo or Haruhi."

I looked around and looked for who said that. "Who said that?"

"Wh…what? How did he hear that?"

"There it is again! Who is that talking!?"

"Um…That was Senketsu….How did you hear that?" Ryuko asked.

"Wait….Did I just hear Senketsu talking?"

"Apparently so." I'm guessing it was Senketsu saying that.

"But I thought only you could hear Senketsu?"

"Well, Ragyo could hear him to, because she was a human-life-fiber hybrid…." Ryuko suddenly looked extremely surprised. "Wait…"

"What are you saying…." I suddenly got the gist of what Ryuko was saying.

"Ryuko, I think we should have Iori examine Kyon. He might know whats going on!" Senketsu said.

"Right. Come on Kyon!" I got up off my bed, and followed Ryuko and Senketsu to Honnouji Academy to see what was wrong with me.

 **[And that took longer than usual. My reasoning for that is I wasn't quite sure where I was going with this story, but I came up with this revelation that gave me a good idea with what to do. And what did you think of that short emotional moment? Was it good? Did it feel rushed? Also, my next update won't be for awhile since I'm going to be gone until Saturday, and seeing how long it will take me to write it. As usual, please leave a review for your opinion (I'm desperate for a review at this rate!) and follow or favorite if you are interested.]**


	12. Chapter 12

**[So, we are almost at the face-off with Ragyo. Man, I didn't think I'd drag this on for as long as I did, I was originally planning on ending it a few chapters back, where Haruhi and Kyon would have faced off, but I like this idea better. Again, I do apologize if this feels rushed, because I feel like it was, but hopefully you'll feel otherwise.]**

I was in a lab with Ryuko, Senketsu, and Iori, and Iori had just got a sample of my blood and was currently examining it. I was really nervous about the results.

"So…." I said nervously.

"Kyon, the results are undeniable. I can see traces of life-fibers in your blood."

"B..b..but what if Shionketsu just left those behind!"

"That is quite unlikely, and the only likely thesis is that you are a human-life-fiber hybrid!"

"But that doesn't make any sense! How come I didn't hear Senketsu until today?" I asked frantically.

"That is beyond my knowledge." Iori replied. "This might have something to do with Suzumiya wanting you to be a human-life-fiber hybrid."

Damn it Haruhi!

But I don't think I should be too worried. After all this is over, I'll probably just return to normal.

"Well, that isn't so bad." Ryuko said. "You'll be able to fully synchronize with Shionketsu."

"If he listens to me!"

"Oh, right….."

This would be good news if Shionketsu wasn't so defiant. But it isn't his fault. If anything, I feel I'm to blame for breaking the bad news to him.

"So, now what?" I asked.

"I don't know what is in store for you. But as for me, I need to finish working on my new goku uniforms. Jakuzure's, Gamagori's, Inumuta's, and Sanageyama's uniforms were easy to make since I regained my memory, so I just needed to remake their old uniforms. However, Nagato's, Asahina's, and Koizumi's uniforms are going to be difficult, since I'll have to start from scratch."

"Well, what if for Koizumi, instead of making a uniform that gives him new powers, why not make it amplify his esper powers, and maybe add in some new abilities?" I suggested.

"Actually, that isn't a bad idea…." Iori said. "I should take note of that!" He then started jotting in a notepad.

"Wait, you regained your memory?" Ryuko asked. "Does that mean the Elite Four and Haruhi have to?"

"The remaining Elite Four have regained their memory, but not so much Haruhi. She seems more focused on taking down Ragyo."

Maybe it's a good thing that Haruhi doesn't remember North High. Maybe that way it will be easier to convince her to return everything to the way it was.

But I do wonder something else…..

"Hey wait! Is Haruhi a life-fiber hybrid?"

"Seeing as how Satsuki was and she takes the place of Satsuki, I doubt it." Shiro said confidently.

"I guess that's good. God knows what she would do if she was….."

"Well, we should get going now." Ryuko said.

"Yes, that does seem like a good idea." Said Irori "I need to continue working on those goku uniforms. Its funny, I said these would be the last goku uniforms I'm making, yet I'm making them again…."

"Well, see ya!" Ryuko said.

"Goodbye, and thanks for the idea for Koizumi's goku uniform, Kyon!"

"It's no problem!" I said as I left with Ryuko.

…

Ryuko walked with me to my house. "So, how do you plan on helping take down Ragyo if Shionketsu isn't cooperating?" Senketsu asked me.

"That, I don't know, but I hope something will happen by the time The Great Sports and Cultural Festival begins."

"Well, I hope something does happen." Ryuko said.

"Yes, best wishes to you and Shionketsu." Senketsu said.

"Thanks you guys. I appreciate your help." I waved goodbye to them as they walked away.

I walked into my house, and into my room. When I got in my room, I saw Shionketsu looking directly at me.

"Hey….I'm sorry about what will happen…." I said to Shionketsu.

Shionketsu sighed, and looked at me again. "Well, I heard what Senkets said…And I thought about it….."

Is Shionketsu apologizing?

"And he's right. I may be erased from existence, but it'll be for a good purpose. After all, we can't let that Ragyo bitch have the life-fibers destroy the world."

"That's the spirit!" I said to Shionketsu. "Oh, and I have some news."

"Hmm?"

"I don't know how, but it turns out I'm a life-fiber hybrid….."

"How does that make sense?"

"Shionketsu, you're one of three talking uniforms I've met. Nothing here makes sense."

"Heh…..I guess ya are right….."

"So, are you willing to work together again?"

"Of course!" Shionketsu said gleefully. I took of my ugly no-star uniform, and Shionketsu jumped on me, and it did feel good to wear him again.

Just then, I heard a "Wow!" from a familiar voice, and heard a familiar "Hallelujah!" I turned around and saw Mako crossing her arms.

"What the!..."

"Kyon and Shionketsu are working together!" Mako was hugging a smaller version of herself.

"That way you can take down this Ragyo person!" Mako had Ragyo's hair, and was giving a disapproving look.

"This is so cool!" Mako was dressed up like a dinosaur, and was stepping on toy soldiers.

"WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE!" I yelled at Mako. She made an innocent looking face and shrugged her shoulders.

I sighed. "Well, I shouldn't worry. The Great Sport and Cultural Festival is tomorrow, so I think we should both get some rest."

"Right!" Mako said with a salute.

"And I think you should get some rest in your own house."

"…Oh. RIGHT!" Mako then ran out of her house. What is with this girl?

…

It was the day of The Great Sports and Cultural Festival, and we were all in a stadium. Haruhi had given everyone their goku uniforms, and gave us the rundown of what would happen.

"…And on when I give the signal, I want you all to transform and attack Ragyo as much as you can."

"Right!" Everyone said in unison.

"Good. Now, places everyone!" Haruhi barked.

…

It was finally the moment we were all anticipating. Ragyo and Ryoko (Despite her being banished) was in the center of the stadium, wearing clown attire, and stood next to Haruhi.

"I would like to welcome you all to The Great Sports and Cultural Festival! To begin, Ragyo Suzumiya, my mother, will put on a god-robe that Ryoko Asakura has made for her!"

"Why did she make a GOD-ROBE!? We're screwed now!" Jakuzure said.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Haruhi has a plan." I replied.

Ragyo removed her clown-attire and put on her god-robe.

"I would like you ALL to witness my god-robe; Shinra-Koketsu!" Ragyo said with might in her voice.

"Wow! That sure does look like I did a good job!" Asakura said. "Could I wear it to?"

"Why of course you can!" Ragyo said with a sinister grin on her face. It looked like Shinra-Koketsu absorbed Asakura into it, and it was a pretty disturbing sight.

"NOW!" Haruhi shouted.

The Elite Four, Koizumi, Asahina, Nagato, Mako, Ryuko and I jumped onto the stage and transformed. Aikuro and Kinagase jumped up as well, but were piloting DTRs.

"Two-Star goku uniform!"

"Three-Star goku uniform; Shackle Regalia: Persona Unleashed!"

"Three-Star goku uniform; Blade Regalia: Secret Unsealed!"

"Three-Star goku uniform; Probe Regalia: The Truth Unveiled!" Is it just me, or does Hoka resemble Spider-Man?

"Three-Star goku uniform; Symphony Regalia: Finale!"

"Three-Star goku uniform; Mind Regalia!" Koizumi's uniform slightly resembled Hoka's mark one uniform.

"Three-Star goku uniform; Moe Regalia!" What the!? Who the hell designed this!? It looks like a fancier version of her bunny outfit! I swear, this was Haruhi's idea…

"Three-Star goku uniform; Data Regalia." Nagato's uniform looked familiar and drastically different from Koizumi's and Asahina's uniform. I think this was from an anime Haruhi watched before called _Neon Genesis Evangelion_. It looked like a robot a character piloted. **[Author's note: Just google Eva 00, damn it]**

"Life-fiber synchronization; Kamui-Senketsu!"

"Life-fiber synchronization; Kamui-Junketsu!"

"Life-fiber synchronization; Kamui-Shionketsu!"

Ragyo looked down at us, and laughed. "You foolish humans. You think you can defeat me with mere goku-uniforms and kamuis? If I wanted to, I could have defeated you during your excruciatingly long transformation sequence, but couldn't due to the author trying to not giving me permission."

"Now if I have anything to say about it!" Haruhi said while pointing Bakuzan at Ragyo.

"Oh, so you planned a rebellion? How endearing!" Ragyo said with a smirk on her face. However, her smirk looked like it was fading away.

"What is going on? I can feel my life-fibers slowly disappearing!"

Wait, that wasn't anywhere in Haruhi's plan…

Haruhi then laughed lightly to herself. "You think that I would get help from these pigs in human clothing! That's nonsense!"

Everyone gasped at what Haruhi said. "But Haruhi…!" I shouted.

Just then, Ragyo and her outfit had disappeared, and all that was left of them were there life-fibers, which were being absorbed into Junketsu. Haruhi and Junketsu were swallowed up in a flash of light, and when the light disappeared, Haruhi's hair was much longer and blonde. Junketsu was more of a gold color than Haruhi's hair.

"Junketsu Kisaragi!"

"W….what just happened…" I asked confused. I felt like I couldn't move because I was paralyzed due to shock.

"Haruhi has just used Junketsu to absorb the life-fibers of Ragyo, Shinra-Koketsu, and Asakura." Inumuta explained.

"B…but I thought she wasn't a life-fiber hybrid!"

"Think again!" Haruhi shouted. "I found out that by whatever luck, that I AM in fact, a human-life-fiber-hybrid!"

"But she shouldn't be able to handle that! When me and Senkets absorbed that much life-fibers, he couldn't handle it! The same thing should happen with her and Junketsu!"

"I think I can explain why." Nagato said, but her goku uniform added a echo to her voice. "Suzumiya has altered the world to her will, and she wanted to become a human life-fiber hybrid, and because she desired to so much, her wish became reality. The reason she can handle that much life-fibers is because she can bend reality to her fantasy."

"Great. I'm guessing we are completely and utterly screwed." I said.

"Hey, we ain't giving up that easily!" Shionketsu said. "We made it this far, we can't give up!"

"You have a point Shionketsu…ALLRIGHT, EVERYBODY, WE CAN'T GIVE UP NOW! WE'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, AND WITH OUR COMBIND EFFORTS, WE CAN DEFEAT HARUHI!" I heard the audience cheering for us.

We all charged at Haruhi, with her and Junketsu in their ultimate form. I would give up normally, but not now! We've made too much progress to surrender! She can't defeat our combined forces!

 **[lol, I lied again. So yeah, Ragyo was a pawn played by her daughter who isn't actually a daughter. And if the transformation sequence felt too long, I apologize for that. As for the Evangelion reference, I mostly put that in there because I have Evangelion on the mind lately...But as usual, if you want to share your opinion, please do so in the reviews, and at this rate, I'll take either constructive OR destructive criticism (Well, okay, maybe not destructive). If you're interested, favorite and follow for the ultimate battle against Haruhi!]**


	13. Chapter 13

I was just about ready to attack Haruhi as I was charging at her, along with everyone I had aligned with. We were about to attack Haruhi, but by some magic, Haruhi somehow managed to put a force field up with Junketsu, similar to how I was with Shionketsu while I was fighting against Nonon.

"You think it'll be THAT easy to defeat me!? Think again!"

"Ok, if you were going to turn against us, what was the point of making new goku uniforms?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to test your strength!"

"Against what exactly? It's pretty difficult to do that when you put up a force field." Nonon shouted.

"Against THESE!" Haruhi shouted and then suddenly I noticed it had gotten a little dark. I looked up, and saw a bunch of tuxedos that were fight and red.

"I would question that normally, but I think I understand that seeing a bunch of clothes overhead isn't a good thing now." I remarked.

"Those are COVERS, Kyon." Ryuko said. "They need a human host to activate."

"I don't think she'll use them against us, but she'll probably use them on the audience." Senketsu said.

Mikisugi and Kinagase tried to stop them by shooting anti-life-fiber needles at them. While they did manage to shoot a few of them down, ultimately they failed, and attached themselves to the audience.

The COVERS then flew down to the center of the stadium where we were. It looked like there were a lot of them, but everyone seemed confident enough to fight them.

"Ya got this Kyon?" Shionketsu asked me.

"Well, obviously." I responded with a smirk.

Shionketsu deployed his arm-blade, and we started slashing at the COVERS. I looked around, and noticed everyone else was doing so to.

"Moe Bunny Kick!" Asahina shouted as she was kicking the COVERS with tremendous strength. I'm now convinced Haruhi helped design this.

"Amplified Energy-Sphere!" Koizumi shouted as he shot an energy sphere from his hand, but it looked more powerful than what I've seen before.

I saw Nagato wearing her uniform, and it looked like she was wielding some kind of gun. She shot anti-life-fiber needles out of it. How ironic.

...

Meanwhile, in the Sewing Club room, Shiro was talking with a mysterious figure who was short in stature.

"So, let me set things straight." Shiro said "I don't even know you, nor have I ever seen you until now, but you want me to make you a FIVE-STAR goku uniform?"

"Yep, that's right!" The figure said confidently.

"You do realize I've only made one five-star uniform, and it was a complete failure, right?"

"I know, but it seems so cool to have one! Just imagine, everyone is in jeopardy, when suddenly, our hero, who is more powerful than everyone else, triumphantly steps in!"

"Look, that would take a lot of time, which we don't have! How about I make you a three-star goku uniform?"

"But it would be so cool to have the only five-star uniform!"

"I don't even know if that would work out!"

"Well, how about a four-star goku uniform!?"

"Four-star? "

"Yeah! You have Three-star uniforms, and sorta have Five-star, so why don't you have Four-star?"

Shiro sighed. "Well, I won't have this opportunity again, so I guess might as well make a Five-star for you. By the way, I never did get your name."

"Call me Izumi."

"Well, alright Izumi. I'll try to get this done as fast as I can, but I can't promise how long it'll take. Luckily, I have my goku uniform to help me speed things up, and with that, I'll probably be able to make more goku uniforms."

"Oh boy! I can't wait!" The person named Izumi exclaimed.

Shiro transformed into his goku uniform.

"Three-Star goku uniform; Tailor's Regalia!"

He then immediately began working on Izumi's Five-Star uniform.

…

We seemed to be taking down the COVERS, but it seemed more appeared as we took some of them down. I noticed that some of the COVERS were getting bigger.

"Are you guys hanging in there?" I asked.

"Better than ever!" Mako shouted as she punched a COVER.

"Let me give you two pieces of information!" Kinagase said. "One; I never back down when fighting life-fibers! Second; Same thing as Mako said!"

I feel like Kinagase's "two pieces of information" shtick is a waste of breathe.

Inumuta was shooting what looked like some kind of webs from his hands. "I'm not sure how long we can continue this." He was about to get attacked by a COVER, but Jakuzure blasted it away with sound-waves.

Sanageyama looked like he was having the time of his life. He slashed the COVERS down, and did a "men do kote" on the larger ones.

Asahina looked like she was having trouble with some distant COVERS, and then her uniform transformed again.

"Three-star goku uniform; Moe Regalia: Waitress Mode!" God damn it Haruhi. This looks too similar to her waitress outfit.

"Mikuru Beam!" She shouted as she shot lasers out of her eye at the COVERS. Further proof on how I'm correct.

Gamagori was on a rampage, and destroyed any COVER in his sight.

Nagato didn't have a problem. She easily shot anti-life-fiber needles at the COVERS with ease due to obvious reasons.

"Well, it looks like you can handle the COVERS." Haruhi said. "I hope you like them EXTRA LARGE!" Just then, three COVERS that were enormous appeared in front of us.

"I think we're finally screwed." I said.

"Don't give up Kyon! Remember, this ain't the first time ya said that!" Shionketsu said.

"Yeah, but look at those things! There freaking HUGE!"

Shionketsu giggled at what I said.

"Really? Do you REALLY think this is a time to make sexual jokes?"

Mikisugi, Kingase, and Nagato went rapid-fire with their anti-life-fiber needles. Asahina spammed her Mikuru Beams, and Koizumi was doing the same with his energy-spheres. I can't exactly explain what Gamagori was doing, but it looked he was shooting his face off of his chest.

Despite our efforts, it seemed like our efforts barely did anything.

"I guess I overestimated your uniforms!" Haruhi said.

Damn it Haruhi, I swear, I'll get back at you for this!

It seemed our efforts were useless now. Just when I felt like giving up, I heard a voice shout in the distance.

"Don't worry, we got this!"

Everyone turned their attention towards the entrance of the stadium, and we saw a short girl with long blue hair and green eyes. She wore a goku uniform, but it had a unique symbol on it. It looked like it had five stars on it.

She also had an army of people wearing One-star uniforms standing behind her.

I have absolutely no idea who this girl was, but the red text said her name was Konata Izumi.

"Hey Kyon, who is this girl?" Shionketsu asked me.

"I have no clue. Do you know Ryuko?"

"Not at all."

"Who the hell are you?" Haruhi asked.

"My name is Konata Izumi, and I don't know how I got in this universe, but I will save you all! It's funny really; I never thought I'd try to take down the person I looked up to in the _Kill la Kill_ universe."

"You think you can take me down? Well let's see what your uniform can do first!"

"No problem!" Konata said with a thumbs-up. She then did a transformation sequence.

"Five-Star goku uniform; Otaku Regalia!" You know, I hear in Western culture, her uniform would be known as "weebshit". She wore orange triangular glasses, a navy-blue trench coat that was unbuttoned that had the five-star symbol on it, and had a katana.

"Konata, what the hell are you wearing? That looks like something that would come out of a bad fanfiction!" A purple-haired girl in the crowd of One-star students yelled.

"Ah, calm down Kagami." Konata said before unsheathing her katana. She used it to attack one of the massive COVERS, and cut it down.

"Where did you even get a FIVE-STAR uniform?" Haruhi shouted.

"I had Shiro make it for me. I had to beg for it, but he eventually gave in."

This is getting more ridiculous by the minute. Who even is Konata Izumi? And why is she helping us? Is she even from my universe or this universe? I am so confused…

After Konata took down the giant COVERS, with the help of her army of One-stars, Haruhi looked quite ticked.

"WELL YOU THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH BECAUSE YOU TOOK DOWN THE COVERS, HUH? WELL, YOU FINALLY GET TO FIGHT ME! YOU AND ME, ONE ON ONE!"

 **[Yes, I did just add Konata Izumi from Lucky Star as a guest character. I don't know why, but it seemed like a good idea, probably had something to do with the Haruhi theme. Will I ever explain how she was sucked into this crazy thing? Maybe. But what did you think of the fight against the hordes of COVERS, and Konata Izumi as a guest character. The next chapter will probably be the final chapter, not counting the epilogue, so if anybody else has a thought they'd like to share, please do so in the reviews. And keep in mind, I feel like I'm rushing this story so I can move on to my next fanfiction, which will be a one-shot crackfic crossover between Evangelion and _something else_. What will it be? You'll see soon enough! But as for this story, if you are interested, follow or favorite, and Chapter 14 will be here soon enough!] **


	14. Chapter 14

**[So this is the last chapter, not counting the epilogue, which I might write and upload shortly after this. I've decided to include the author's note at the beginning instead of the end, because putting it at the end kind of kills things. So, be sure to review when you are done, and it is a little late to follow now, but if you really enjoyed this, be sure to favorite.]**

Konata and Haruhi were ready to faceoff, although I'm a little unsure if a goku uniform can stand up to a super saying kamui (Or whatever it's called), even if it is a Five-star.

Konata somehow managed to float in the air and started rapidly slashing at Haruhi with her katana, and while Haruhi looked like she took damage from it, Haruhi wasn't retaliating at all, which seems odd knowing Haruhi.

"Hey Kyon, this fight they are havin' seems a little familiar, don't ya think?" Shionketsu asked.

"Actually, now that you mention it, this reminds me of our fight during Uzu Sanageyama."

"And ya remember how THAT ended?"

Oh no…This won't turn out so good for Konata….

Konata was about to land her final-blow, but then she was surrounded in a cloud of smoke, and Haruhi gave a smirk.

Konata then noticed her uniform transformed back into its default state. Haruhi grabbed Konata by the collar of her uniform so she didn't fall.

"What the!? How did that happen?" Konata asked herself.

"Well, you ARE wearing a Five-star goku uniform, which hasn't been perfected like the other types of goku uniforms, so it overheated." Haruhi said. "I'd destroy your goku uniform, but there is no point; it's useless now!"

Haruhi threw Konata into the ground, and did massive damage to her.

"You pigs in human clothing, nobody can stop me! If a Five-star couldn't, none of you certainly can!"

Well, this is just great. I have no idea what we are supposed to do now.

"Ryuko, I have an idea!" Senketsu said. "We can absorb everyone else's life-fibers like we did when we fought Ragyo!"

"That doesn't seem so bad." She responded. "Of course, I'd have to see if it is okay with Shionketsu." Ryuko then glanced over at Shionketsu.

Shionketsu let out a sigh. "Well, this would have happened eventually. All right."

"I'm not so sure about that." Koizumi said. "I don't think Miss Suzumiya wants to fight Ryuko."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Nonon asked.

"Well, I'm sure Miss Suzumiya would much rather fight Kyon and Shionketsu."

"Yes, that is correct." Nagato added in. "And if Kyon fights and defeats Miss Suzumiya, then it is very likely that she will transfer everything back to the way it was."

"And since it turns out you are a life-fiber-hybrid, it is completely possibly for you to do so." Inumuta added.

Ryuko and Senketsu glanced at each other. "I didn't think I would have to be in this position." Senketsu said. "But I knew I would have to die again."

Ryuko, trying not to cry, understood Senketsu's decision. "I really don't want to lose you again, but I understand what you have to do."

"I guess this was how Junketsu must have felt…"

"So Shionketsu, are you ready?"

"This is for our last battle!"

Just then, Shionketsu started absorbing everyone else's goku uniforms, and Senketsu, which did leave everyone else naked, but I could care less about that right now.

"Kamui Shionketsu; Shionketsu Kisaragi!"

Well it sure is convenient that Haruhi suffers from "Bond Villain Stupidity", because she just let me transform into something that could be a threat to her.

I noticed Shionketsu, like Junketsu, had become golden. I couldn't see my hair, but I'd be willing to bet it is blonde and probably spikey. I then flew upward, and Haruhi had (somehow) just now noticed me.

"What!? How!?"

"Haruhi, you have a case of 'Bond Villain Stupidity', don't be surprised."

Haruhi gritted her teeth in anger at my remark, and slashed Bakuzan at me. Luckily, I had Shionketsu deploy his arm-blade, which I used to block Bakuzan.

I then used Shionketsu's arm-blade to throw Bakuzan, but Haruhi picked it up before it fell out of reach.

"Haruhi, you need to listen to me! I need you remember the S.O.S. Brigade!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Haruhi said before she hit me with Bakuzan.

"The S.O.S. Brigade! A club you created to find mysterious things!"

Haruhi looked like she just realized something. "I somehow just now remember the S.O.S. Brigade and North High. I remember the S.O.S. Brigade was pointless! We didn't find anything interesting!"

Haruhi then started rapidly hitting me with Bakuzan, but I managed to dodge most of the blows.

"You're wrong! You met me, Koizumi, Asahina, and Nagato!"

"Well they're boring and uninteresting!" Redundant much? "They might as well be the result of a cookie cutter, because they're like generic anime characters! There isn't even anything interesting about the fact that they are aliens, time-travelers, and espers!"

"But you begged to meet them! You wanted nothing more to meet at least ONE of those, and you had it all!"

"And I did meet them! But they weren't too much different from normal people!"

"Then what makes people here any different! Ryuko is a life-fiber-hybrid, but is she any different from your normal hot-headed teenager?"

 **[Author's note: I just felt like I needed to throw my two-cents in and say that Ryuko is NOT edgy, unless people push her to be. She is more hot-headed than anything. Got that? Okay, now I'll continue.]**

"Yes, but…." Haruhi looks like she's out of words. I think I'm doing this right!

She even tried to hit me with Bakuzan, showing me that she refuses to come up with a counter-argument.

"And Gamagori! Sure, he's freaking huge and can change his size, but he's like any other big guy with a soft heart. I'm not saying he isn't likeable, but still."

"Shut up!"

For the record, I think these are some of the most interesting people I've met; I just need something to throw at Haruhi.

But I don't think this will work, so I have an idea that might work.

"But I guess you are right."

"See! I told you so!" Haruhi then started laughing like a maniac, and then I hit her on the head with Shionketsu's hammer hand, and it knocked her back down to the ground.

I flew down to the ground, and saw she was still conscious, but she made a crater in the ground.

"Hey, that's not fair!"

"Well, life isn't fair. And I'm convinced there is only ONE thing I can do to change things back to the way they were."

"Hey Kyon, ya seem pretty nervous…Are ya gonna do what I think yer gonna do?" Shionketsu said, and followed with a giggle.

"And what exactly is that?" Ryuko asked.

"I don't think yer gonna like it….."

Shionketsu transformed back into his default state. "And let me tell you, I'm not looking forward to this. It especially doesn't help that everyone is surrounding us."

"Your body tells me otherwise, Kyon."

"Shut up!"

"Wait, what you think you're doing!" Haruhi said as I walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders.

To think this is the second time I'm going to do this. "Like I said last time; you look hot in a ponytail."

"Wait, what!" Ryuko said in shock.

I leaned in, and kissed Haruhi. Let me say that I'm not enjoying this.

"Wh..WHAT THE HELL!" Ryuko shouted.

"Wow! It's just like in that one episode!" Konata said. Episode? What is she talking about?

"Feeling jealous, Ryuko?" Senketsu asked her.

"It feels like you've restored things Kyon." Koizumi said.

"Goodbye Kyon….." Shionketsu said before I blacked out.

…

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. My sister ran into my room, and literally yanked me out of my bed.

"Kyon, wake up! You don't want to be late for school!"

I woke up and looked around. Everything was the way it was.

I had done it. I restored everything back to normal.

I felt happy that I fixed everything, but….

I had an empty feeling.

…..I missed Shionketsu.


	15. Epilogue

I was walking to school, feeling upset that Shionketsu was gone, but at the same time, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I mean, sure Shionketsu didn't sacrifice himself in vain, but I still really missed the pervy old uniform.

Wait, I just realized something….

Does Haruhi still remember what happened! I sure hope she doesn't! I better make sure!

With that thought in my mind, I made sure to run as fast as I could to school. When I arrived in class, I saw Haruhi reading manga.

"Hey Haruhi" I asked nervously as I was sitting down in my desk. "Do you remember anything from yesterday…"

"Yeah, and it really sucked!"

Oh no….

"I tried ordering that costume for Mikuru, but I saw it was WAY too expensive! I would need to sell an arm and two legs!"

Oh thank god! She doesn't remember a thing! At long last, everything is back to the way it was! No more life-fibers, no more goku uniforms, no more Nudist Beach!

Tough I will say, I sure do miss a lot of those guys. Ryuko, Senketsu, Mako, and especially Shionketsu….

But things needed to return to the way they were, I guess.

I then heard the door open, and heard a familiar yet unfamiliar scruffy voice saying "Hello everybody."

It sure did sound different from out usual teacher. I turned around and…..

WHAT THE HELL!?

"You may not recognize me, and that's because starting today, I'll be your new teacher!"

It's Mikisugi wearing his teacher attire! What is he doing here!?

Better yet, HOW did he get here?

I guess I'll ask him when school is over….

…

When school was over for the day, I walked into his office, and luckily nobody else was there.

"Okay Mikisugi, cut the act. What are you doing here!"

He then threw his clothes off, and greased his hair back. His nipples and crotch started glowing purple. "I'm working undercover, what else!"

"Well duh. I mean WHY are you!"

"Remember how you said that Miss Nagato girl is an alien?"

"Oh my god, she is NOT in any way related to life-fibers!"

"We'll know that for sure when I'm done investigating!"

"How DID you even get here!?"

Mikisugi opened his mouth as if he was about to lecture, but halted and realized he had nothing to say. He shrugged his shoulders, and gave a somewhat similar expression that Mako made when she somehow got in my house.

Speaking of Mako, does that mean she's here to? My god, I certainly hope not...

 **[And that was Kill la Haruhi. So, what did you guys think of it? Was it interesting and/or original, or boring and/or cliche? Let me know what you think in the reviews. And I don't have plans for a sequel, but I might revisit it one day, but I do plan on making more Haruhi crossovers, probably less serious ones though. If anybody has any suggestions, be sure to leave them in the reviews.]**


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